I started to write this to Lennon in a journal that I have written in since she was born. However, it became more of a motherhood post for her to read when she's you know...
30? married?... the whole nine yards every mother tells their daughter.
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This week, month, past couple of months to be exact have been rough. It's been a test of my patience as a mother, a stay at home mom, as a faithful Christian and, as a wife. Within the last 3 weeks we have dealt with croup, head lice not once but twice... and the stomach flu. I am exhausted, my patience is worn thin (or truly non-existent at this point) and all I want to do is sleep, eat chocolate or quit. I can't tell you how many times I have cried, pleaded and begged to just quit... quit being a stay at home mom, being the one who does it all, being everything for everyone.
Why... Why am I telling YOU this? My 4 year old who's so sweet, and innocent... currently singing Disney songs on Pandora and running around in princess dresses and heels according to which princess is on the radio at the time. Well, I am telling you because it's the truth!
Someday you will be in my shoes. This very moment will be happening to you. Your kids will be running crazy, driving you crazy, you haven't showered, or eaten... (or come to think of it... have I brushed my teeth?), you've got approximately one hour to get dinner in the crock pot or it won't be done in time, get snacks for the baby who's crying, and goodness.... if you have a dog (which you totally will) it will need to go out at this exact time that all hell is breaking loose inside the house.
Motherhood is glorious in all of its never-ending monotonous chores and constant mess.
It's glorious in all of it's long exhausting nights and tired messy days because... God. GOD.
Because of GOD.
(I had to say it again)
God gives you strength when you most need it.
God gives you patience when yours is wearing thin.
The ONLY thing God doesn't give you is three hands and a shower when you need one!
But, now I know why... Now I really know why God doesn't give us an extra hand, time to shower, a time to poop, for goodness sakes, without little hands under the door and crying because they can't see you. (TMI?) but seriously now I know why God doesn't give us those things and it took me 4 1/2 years of parenthood to realize it.
He doesn't give us three hands because the house work, laundry, chores... they can wait. He doesn't give you time to shower because if you spend that extra time playing and running around like crazy people dancing to Disney music your kids will eventually tire themselves out enough and you can shower later. You can shower when they're sleeping and can't put their little hands under the door! (whhhattttt kind of luxury is that?) He doesn't give us moms "special" treatment, he gives us tools. Tools to survive the day and to live a happy, blessed life and those tools are love, faith and our children.
We don't NEED anything else in life to be happy.
A clean house is great but - does it make our children happy?
An empty sink is fabulous (and smells better) but - does it create memories?
& what does smelling like roses and herbal essence shampoo have to do with memories that will last a lifetime to our kids?
So, my dear daughters...
I hope that one day you will read this and when you most need it, re-read it.
I hope you remember that I tried. I did my best, and on my bad days I did my second-best. I poured my blood, sweat, tears, exhaustion and, frustration but most of all LOVE into motherhood and all I have given you girls.
If you take anything away from this take these tips:
> Dry shampoo
> Cold coffee can be good and hot food is overrated
> Dishes can wait - use paper plates
> Shower when the kids are asleep and, invite hubby when he gets home from work
because... alone time is good for the soul
(TMI again?)
Enjoy these moments, the mess and cherish these days because as mothers we all know, too well, that they don't last forever.
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My best friend inspired me today.
She inspired me to take a step back, turn my phone off and just be present.
Create things, play uninterrupted, imagine and inspire our children to be better humans.
I am a better mom with no makeup, no shower, no phone and no agenda in the world but to make these girls laugh. I needed to be reminded of that today.
So thank you, Kens - for being the best mom, role model and BIFF out there.
Just don't hold me accountable for the daily workout because I blogged instead ;)
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Now I am going to drink my cold coffee and re-heat my late lunch while the girls are finally asleep for their naps.
XOXO