Dreams are coming TRUE!

I've always wanted to be that person that lives by the ocean, can look out their front window and see the waves, hear them crashing on the sand and feel the sunshine on their face... I've wanted to be that girl that can run on the beach in the morning, play in the sand in the afternoon, take a walk in the ocean breeze at night with the love of my life.

Well, it's just becoming so real. 

Hubby got offered a job in Tampa!
We are keeping our fingers (and toes... and anything else that crosses) crossed. We really, really, SO BADLY want and need this job. We are just waiting for a few things to go through and see if the company picks up the contract. Don't ask... I don't get it either. Gov't jobs are confusing!

So my dreams may become reality all too soon.
I am nervous, anxious, excited, sad, happy, emotional, overwhelmed... all in one. Imagine that, the life of Kaila EVERYDAY. 

I have always been a homebody. Grew up in a relatively small town, same town my mom grew up near, my dad grew up in, my step-dad, grandparents and everyone I know grew up in. We have family spread out in every corner of the little city we live in and more areas throughout Michigan. It's always been a tradition to go up north to the cabin, go to the lake for Holidays and go camping. It's never heard of that someone in the family moves away... until I moved to DC with Dan a couple years ago. My family was sad, I wasn't married... I was newly pregnant and I couldn't handle being that far away. So, I came home. 

I really didn't think I could ever do it again. 
I decided to stay in Saginaw.
I got a job, started making good money and felt like I was going to feel at home here. 
I don't... 

My family is here. My friends are here... those that are few and far between (but, I am so thankful for the ones that I do have! Love you ladies!!) I think that I am starting to realize that my daughter needs a good, safe(r) and more stable future where we can grow, she can grow, we can provide for her and she can fulfill her dreams with a more optimistic place.

So here's the deal...

This is about to be one of the most important decisions of my... well our adult (and married) life.

We found THE house. THE PERFECT house. 
It's a 3 bedroom, white house, landscaping, big kitchen, open layout, big back yard. It's everything we want and more! 

We made an offer.
Seller countered.
We counter back.
We wait.

Got it? K.

Well, we made an offer and then we were playing this nerve-wrecking waiting game to see when we will hear back. So let's see... what could possibly happen in the time that we are waiting to see if they take our final counter-offer?

... Dan gets an email.

It's a job offer.
IN FLORIDA!
SERIOUSLY?

Then... WAIT...
They accepted!!!! 
OUR OFFER GOT ACCEPTED!!!!!!

So, now we are thinking something along the lines of,
" ***K. What do we do now?"
Well... that's why I am writing this because we don't know what to do.
We really have no freakin' clue.

So here's my thought process.

Pro's
Tampa is beautiful
...and warm
Highly populated and growing
and a safe(r) place to raise a family
and has MONEY to be made...
and Dan would make good MONEY!
Stay at home mom? YES.
It's NOT Saginaw, WOOHOO.
There's Skype!
We can fly home...?

Con's
Do you know where FL is? IT's FAR AWAY.
No family
No BIFF
No babysitters
Hurricanes
Alligators
Snakes
It's another Apt. not a House
It's HOT all the time
No snow.. YES, I love snow
We don't know ANYONE
We have to start over...
Job security? 
Did I mention no family?

:(

PS Thank GOD for anxiety meds because right about now I would be going CRAZY without them.

Help...?

Me. Mine & Ours!

ME

a person who is always intellectually searching for something more. 

MINE

my soulmate. my best friend. a shoulder. an open book. a soldier. a heart. a mind. a rock. Someone who knows their presence in life and what it means. My rock, our rock.

OURS

our little. She's more than our little, she's our world. She's everything we could have ever dreamed of creating, teaching, guiding and she's living our dreams day to day.

It's all about US. What we want in this life together. I have been stressing myself out day after day thinking about what I want. Where do I want to live? What do I want to be when I grown up? What do I want to dream about? 

In reality, it doesn't matter what I want if MINE and OURS aren't there with me. I can't keep thinking for myself and what others think. It's about my daughter, my husband and what's best for us. 

I want to live close to my family, and of course I want a good life. 

Hubs wants to be able to provide that good life for us and be there for us.

Our little... well, she's just along for the ride.

So, our journey begins. Searching for home,

searching for our career paths and searching for our feeling of being settled.

<3 

Just Rambles... again.

My mind has been going crazy lately.

1. Work STINKS - pun intended (why do adults stink so bad? ... why can't WOMEN flush the toilet or clean up after themselves? ... and they are "professionals") Seriously, don't poop at work and then not bring some Bath & Body works spray to cover that stink up!

2. Lennon is getting sassier by the day. She is in this phase lately where she is hitting, head butting, smacking... us and herself in the face, biting... you name it, she's done it! 
Is this a phase or am I doing something wrong? I am so over it.

3. I am preparing to go back to school this summer and FAFSA can suck it. They selected me for verification then requested I prove my identity then requested my IRS forms, then requested a blood and urine sample! Well, not really a blood and urine sample but they might as well have. DAMN. Can I just start school already?

4. As I am typing this I am listening to Pandora and I am falling more in love with Country music by the second. It makes me wish I lived in the South. I truly think that's where my heart belongs! 

5. I am still deciding whether or not to get braces or Invisalign. I need to make up my mind within the next 2 weeks. Trust me, I have been doing research but all of it is so comparable. HELP! 

6. I am having a mid-length hair crisis. I want my hair longer today and yesterday I wanted to chop it all off. I like the blonde but I want my hair healthier and back to my natural color for less maintenance. Can some hair God come help me make up my mind. Good thing I go see my hair stylist this week. Whew.

7. I wish that we would just magically find a nice place to live and be happy in a nice city close to home. Keeping our fingers crossed that Dan gets a good job soon so I can focus on designing our future home, planning for another baby and finally having the feeling of being settled. 

Is that really it?...

My mind can't seem to wander anymore right now.

Just Rambles

Well, it's been a while since I've blogged last and so much has happened. I've gone to Mexico, had a blast. I've gone on a diet, quit, worked out, quit, wanted to buy a kitten - changed my mind, wanted to move to a beautiful state across America - changed my mind, hated my job, wanted to quit, loved my job, etc. etc. etc. I'm going crazy, that's the reality of it all!

One of the best things have been spending more time with our little, yet so grown up, Lennon. Lennon has been growing up so fast - learning new things, saying new words, putting words together, talking - and talking back, singing songs, climbing, jumping, running and soaking up so much of our love. She's truly a blessing to us, and this world of ours that she makes more beautiful everyday that she wakes up and smiles.

Dan and I recently got back from our beautiful honeymoon in Mexico. I can't even begin to explain how amazing it was. Beautiful doesn't even explain the white sand and crystal clear water. Breathtaking is an understatement when describing the view from our bedroom balcony over the ocean, the view from our goggles as we snorkeled above the ocean floor and the feel of the sand between our toes as we sat on the beach and gazed at the stars above the sea. I fell more in love with the world, was reminded how amazing it is and how relaxing life can be. I fell more in love with the simple life - hence the reason why I haven't been so consumed with blogging - and Dan and I fell more in love with being married. It was simply amazing. 

Coming home and finally arriving safe on U.S soil was a huge relief. I HATE flying - especially over the damn ocean and I seriously have a fear of flying so thankfully we don't travel much. 

Since we have been home we have been really serious about making a plan for our future. It's been hard making decisions on what to do, where to apply for jobs, where to live, move or not to move, blah-blah-blah. I have SO many mixed emotions on all subjects so it's a difficult, stressful time. 1. I want a safe place to raise my daughter and future littles 2. I want to leave Saginaw - ASAP! 3. I want to be a stay at home mom so I can watch my children grow up 4. I want Dan to do what he is passionate about and make a good living 5. I want to go back to school 6. I want to start my own business 7. I want to write a children's book and have Lennon illustrate it 8. I want a beautiful home 9. I want a puppy 10. I just want to be HAPPY!! - that's not asking too much, right? 

Seriously, I would love to stay in Michigan and be close to family but it may not be the best place for my family and for the 3 of us - for now - to build our future. Friends and family have been giving me advice, talking to me about my options and honestly... It's all up to us and that's the hardest part. I can vent all I want but in reality, it makes it harder just the idea of leaving. As I am writing this, my hubs is probably applying for jobs across the country... D.C, California, Florida... Ugh. I'm getting anxiety just thinking about this. Will I ever make up my mind? 

Life is about making plans, setting goals and (hopefully) eventually, achieving your dreams. We all have them, only some of us see our goals come to life and I am not willing to be one of the people who let's their dreams pass them by. I have to keep reminding myself that dreams can come true but they take time. 

In time ... it will happen :) 

Lennon needs me. She is so happy and overly hyper when we finally get home from the long day and play. We read, we play with Elmo, we color, chalkboard color, watch Sophia... sit on the couch for a snack and then repeat. I see her for about a few hours a night, 3 nights a week and on the weekends. It SUCKS. It's probably more than most working families and for that, I am grateful but I feel guilty for not giving her enough of my time. She's growing up so fast and I'm missing so much. I hate it. 

Our future will be bright. It will be spent coloring all day, taking walks, spending days in our jammie's all day long, keeping the house messy to see if I can let it go and relax, writing books and not having alarm clocks. I can't wait for those days! Hopefully they're sooner than later. 

XO. 

The BEST this week

1. Lennon said SHIT. That's definitely the best, worst, and funniest thing on my list this week. It was too funny but immediately I thought, "do I laugh or do I say no-no!"

2. I found the perfect nail polish for my piggies and fingers at Ulta and had to get a mani & pedi! Hot pink, of course!

3. I packed! Finally. That crap sucks. Down to the undies and the swimsuits, I'm packed except for a good magazine and journal for my carry on, I'm good. I can't wait! If any of my friends know what Nina Needs To Go is, then you'll understand when I say, "CANTWAIT!CANTWAIT!CANTWAIT!"

4. Lennon has been so good this week despite the fact that she's teething the worst teeth known to mankind. She's been a trooper, still sleeping through it and being so good. I'm amazed every day that she learns a new word, helps us out all the time and doesn't bat an eyelash when it's appropriate to say please or thank you! She's amazing! 

5. I talked to the CEO of the company I work for this week to resolve an important issue and I felt so happy after, I truly love the company I work for and trust that when a very important matter comes up it will be resolved immediately. Why is it always me that bad things happen to? Ugh. 

6. Little L is packed and ready to go to stay with Family while we are gone on our honeymoon. I will miss her dearly but after getting medical release forms notarized and packed away we should be all set. 

7. It was jean day at work Friday, Saturday and again this coming up MONDAY! When did I get so blessed? I pay $$$ to wear jeans, I'm happy and the cash is donated to help a local family in need. WIN-WIN.

8. Valentines Day was great! I got my fav. flowers & a IOU for a tattoo when we get back from Mexico! I got the hubs champagne and cupcakes, and his fav beer! Win for me and him - what girl doesn't love champagne and chocolate? 

10 Things [& more] I Wish I Knew...

BEFORE MY WEDDING DAY!

 

1. Trial your hair & MAKEUP - I did a trial run with my hair and I am SO thankful that I did. I trust my hairstylist SO very much that I didn't feel that I needed a trial run, and I thought I knew exactly what I wanted. Well, I was wrong about the "thought I knew exactly what I wanted" part. I did my hair for the trial run, and then I changed my mind that night. Without that trial run I wouldn't have been as happy as I was when I found the hairstyle I ended up with. Makeup - I didn't trial run with. Why? Because it was too costly... But, I wish I would have. Don't get me wrong, I LOVED my makeup the day of my wedding and it turned out PERFECT for what I had envisioned but playing makeup is fun, and I wish I would have gone with a more "catty smokey eye" to see what it would have looked like. I just didn't want to waste time the morning of the wedding or mess up what was already so PERF. 

2. Don't change your daily routine just for your BIG day - For example, If you normally get 8 hours of sleep you really want to make sure that's what you get the night before. I didn't sleep... let me rephrase... I REALLY DIDN'T SLEEP AT ALL!!! If you're anything like me, you'll have high anxiety and feel like you're going to lose your intestines out of both ends. Don't stay up late, don't get up too early if you don't have to and don't force yourself to eat, or take vitamins just because every blog you read tells you to eat and drink and take pills. I didn't get home until after midnight the night before due to decorating and cleaning the hall for the reception. I came home, hubs was already sleeping and if you know him, he snores like a freakin' monster. I couldn't sleep, I woke him up, we chatted for a while and talked about our big day, before ya know it, it was getting earlier... and earlier... My alarm went off just as I was dozing away and walking into la-la-land. Damn, 6:30AM came fast. I got up, showered, tried to eat, took some vitamins, drank some water but I had such a lump in my throat that I couldn't eat or drink a thing. Turns out, the vitamin, no food and queasy tummy made everything worse. Stick to your routine and you should get some rest!

3. Take YOUR time - Everyone is rushing you to be ready for the next thing... your bridal party, your photographer (at least she/he has a reason to), the person running the hall, your limo driver, etc. BIGGEST piece of advice... Take a moment to breathe, soak it all in and just relax and enjoy your wedding day! Everyone says that your wedding day goes by so fast, and truth be told, it DOES! Your photos will turn out beautiful in the end, your limo driver will get over it, your bridal party should just do what you say anyway, and the person running the hall should learn how to make people happy... (seriously, if I am there 5 minutes over my allotted time frame and there is NO wedding after, GET OVER IT and don't rush me...).

  4. Pick a time for your ceremony that DOESN'T interfere with NAP time for the "littles"- My ceremony was at 1:00PM. That's NAP time so that means it was the WORST TIME EVER for a ceremony that involved our little one. She was our flower girl and she walked down the aisle in her little tutu that matched the colors to the wedding... holding my little brothers hand and smiling a little and sucking on her paci to keep her calm. But, once she got to the end of the aisle she saw DADDY standing up on the stage so she yelled "Dada!" and tried to crawl up the stairs! Everyone said it was the cutest thing ever but of course, due to her being so overly tired she wasn't too happy when Nana and Papa tried to calm her down and take her away. She didn't sit through the ceremony and I wanted sooooooo many cute mommy & daughter photos, and family photos and we got... about 3 ALL of which are teary eyed and red cheeked. If I knew this BEFORE my wedding I would have chosen a 4:00 ceremony... Oh, well... She still looked ADORABLE!

 

 

 

5. You will NEVER make EVERYONE happy - This was by far the HARDEST part of planning our wedding! When we made our guest list it started at about 275 people. We quickly realized that we needed to cut that in half and then in half again because let's face it... at $30 per person that's a ton of freakin' money! So, we cut people.... a lot of people. We cut mostly extended family, and a lot of friends who we asked ourselves, "have we really talked to them recently... or in the last 3-6 months"? If the answer was no, then we cut them. Simple as that. But, it didn't seem simple to explain that to the family and friends that weren't invited. Especially, the family part. That wasn't so easy. I come from a family where I am the oldest grandchild on both sides, oldest great-grandchild, and I have a TON of cousins. Fact of the matter is... you cannot and will not please everyone. Everyone has their opinion on who should be invited, where they need to sit, and who they don't want to sit by. Stick to your plan, invite who you want to, try to make your soon to be husband, mother, and in-law happy and that's all that matters. Chances are people will still bitch about it but those are the people who shouldn't have been there anyway!

6. The LITTLE things don't matter so DON'T worry about them - If you forgot hairspray, buy the $8,00 travel size one at the salon. If your boobs are sweating, ask your MOH for a tissue, if you're a crier, make sure you have backup makeup. Don't sweat the small stuff, it will make you crazy... and make sure you hire a hostess. My hostess is like a mom to me, she was phenomenal, I cant stress enough how amazing she was!!! The morning of my wedding, I was a hot mess. I cried, I panicked, I took a shot, it didn't help... I was a mess. I was too worried about all the things to come. I had to get my daughter ready, I had to get dressed, my girls had to get dressed, etc. I went crazy just because of my OCD tendencies and wanting to make sure everyone was happy. If your girls stress you out, tell them to shut the F up. That usually does the trick. Thank God I had great bridesmaids, for the most part, and an amazing MOH that helped!

7. Don't WORRY - During the ceremony you might not be able to get the ring on your spouse's finger. Stress, heat, nervousness and etc. all result in swollen fingers. That ring that fit just fine last week totally won't fit without some serious shoving after saying those vows. Don't push it on, don't squeeze his hands in nervousness because it will end up in a swollen finger and a cut in the middle where you shoved the damn ring on. My hubs was about to rip my head off as soon as we walked back down the aisle! Whoops!

8. Don't buy a tight dress you can't breathe in - At the beginning of the day, my dress was PERFECT. It was snug, tight and exactly what I wanted. But, toward the end of the night it was terrible! I was MISERABLE and couldn't wait to get that damn thing off. I hated my own wedding dress at the end of the night. With drinking, dancing, eating, running around like a crazy person makes that tight ass dress even tighter, which makes sure you can't breathe! It was terrible, I can't even explain it. My dress was absolutely beautiful but if I would have known, I would have went with a dress without a corset, that was flowy, roomy, and still sexy.

9. ONLY pick the girls you CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT - I picked my girls about 9 months to 1 year in advance. I was close with every single one of them but there was 1 that I had doubts about as soon as the parties started, bridal shower party, bachelorette party, etc. I REALLY wish I would have gone with my gut feeling and had only my true friends, my real friends in my wedding. I am so thankful for the girls that made my wedding day special! Thank you so much Jes, Court, Katie, and the best MOH - Mac(sauce)! LOVE YOU ALL!

 

 

 

 
10. CAKE = WASTE OF MONEY - It's your wedding, of course you want a huge, beautiful cake but let me tell you... it's pretty, it's everything you want but... 1. No one looks at it 2. No one cares 3. No one eats the damn thing... NOT EVEN YOU and YOUR HUBS. We ordered a small two-tier cake for just us at the wedding, and that was PERFECT and we didn't feel that it was a waste of our money ($88.00 for our own cake, sure.) but buying cake for everyone at the reception was the biggest waste. No one hardly touched it and we ended up taking over 80% of it home, and didn't eat it there. You live and ya learn... right?

& MORE

You NEED an amazing photographer but... DON'T forget that you need a photographer that's personable and takes the time to get to know you and I am so happy my photographer and friend did both! Photography by - Heidi McGrandy

http://www.heidimcgrandy.com/

You WILL NOT be able to pee ALONE - So, make sure your MOH is up for the challenge of being free when YOU need to pee, lifting up your 100 pound dress around the toilet so you can pee [that's if you can find the toilet in all that tulle] OH, and make sure you take a pic like I did... ^^ Shown above ^^ :)

Screw 5 inch heels of hell - WEAR FLATS - I actually wore flats because my dress was too short to wear heels with but I foreseen that the heels would KILL my feet anyway so I was dreading wearing them. So glad I went with flats.

You NEED Chair Covers - Also, did this for my wedding but feel the need to add this to the blog because I ordered them not even 1 month before my wedding. Last minute rental and SO WORTH IT! Hubs and I debated about this being in the budget for months and still, just could not bring ourselves to add it in... but, then we came across Chic Chair Cover Boutique and we fell in love. Our wedding was BEAUTIFUL and so elegant with these chair covers. It really made the wedding 10x more amazing! Thanks, Stef! Check out her website here -- Chic Chair Cover Boutique

Uplighting - I wish, wish, WISH I had uplighting at my wedding around the walls. I feel like it would have added that "romantic" feel to the wedding and we didn't have it. Many DJ's and venue's have this included in the price but ours didn't so I really regret that one thing.

WAIT to WALK IN - Our reception began at precisely 6PM and we walked in right at 6PM when the DJ announced us... Regret - I wish we would have waited another 10 to 15 minutes until ALL of our family and friends arrived there and took their seats. 1. It was winter, roads weren't the greatest and when people arrived they had coats, mittens etc. to put away 2. NO ONE arrives on time... giving them 10 more minutes probably would have ensured everyone was there 3. All of our family wasn't there... so my aunts and uncles didn't even get to see us walk in!

Plan EVERYTHING, ORGANIZE & BUDGET - If you know me, you know all too well that I plan everything, make to-do, honey-do and to-don't lists... so we were set on that aspect. So, next was the budget... We budgeted things, to a certain extent. We still ended up having money for everything but if we would have held ourselves to a tight[er] budget we may have had more money left over to afford Jamaica instead of Mexico for the honeymoon. Oh, well.

GET A LIMO for AFTER - Also, did this... but feel I need to include it! Don't stress over your bridal party finding rides after a night of drinking... GET A LIMO! We had a limo bus for in between the ceremony and reception and also had it at midnight until 3AM for the bridal party and us to get to bars and our hotel. Although, we were too tired at the end of the night to go out to the bars and party... we enjoyed our limo ride to the hotel from the reception and enjoyed our wedding night in! But, the entire bridal party really enjoyed it and they all got home safe!

Happily ever after starts once the wedding is over -  My wedding was not the best day of my life (duh, Lennon being born was)! But seriously, don’t get me wrong… my wedding was an perfect, exactly what I wanted and so beautiful. It was a dream wedding. But, it was stressful, overwhelming, fast, busy, tiring, expensive... you name it. I have not met ONE single bride that said... "well, If I did it again it would be smaller and not as expensive... or on a beach with close fam & friends!" ... and that's so true. Was it worth it? YES! It was everything I wanted... But, the best day of my life was the next day, the day following my wedding when I woke up next to my husband with his wedding ring on. I knew right then and there that everyday following our wedding would lead to the best day of our lives. It was finally over, that feeling was amazing. I was married! I had been surrounded by amazing friends and family all night, I had a blast! My feet were sore from hours of dancing. Empty champagne bottles and chocolate candy wrappers were everywhere in our hotel room. The wedding stress was over. That’s when my husband opened his eyes and said “Good Morning Mrs. Klepsch”. That was the best day of my life and every day since.

xoxo - the Mrs.