Baby Bump | 8 Months

8 MONTH UPDATE

How far along: 32 Weeks / 8 Months

Due Date: December 4, 2015 was our original due date but maternal fetal medicine ultrasound showed that baby is measuring ahead and we are now at November 30, 2015 for our due date based on baby measurements - which is most likely more accurate anyway.

Baby Size: Approx. 19 inches / 3.9 lbs. / the size of a head of lettuce! Holy crap, baby! 

Weight Gain: I am only up 2 lbs. from my pre-pregnancy weight! YAY, ME! 

Gender: GIRL

Sleep: Thankfully, sleeping has been better lately. I have been falling asleep quickly at night and sleeping until about 3 AM when baby decides to wake up, kick a ton, and make me have to pee. So, I run to the bathroom and then I am usually awake for a while! Other than that, all is well when this mama can get a nap during the day. 

I am feeling: Still feeling great! My energy is back in the mornings so I can get a TON of nesting done and house chores done right away. My round ligament pain has gotten worse, chiropractor appointments are closer together and thankfully my massages are regularly scheduled now. Feeling great, let's hope this continues!

Cravings: My most favorite things in the world right now are still spicy foods, sriracha on absolutely everything, and I am slowly getting back into loving sugar. Cider donuts... MMMM!!! I just devoured one this morning and thankfully I found pasteurized apple cider so my Fall is now complete! 

Currently loving: I am loving that it's finally FALL weather! I can wear my one pair of maternity leggings that actually fit, large hoodies and slippers. 

Currently hating: Yesterday I thought Dan was going to have to drag me out of the house naked. I could not find a single thing to wear that fit me good for the transition into cool weather. Leggings and a t-shirt ended up winning the battle but seriously, how frustrating that nothing is fitting anymore now that belly is getting wider, lower and boobs are just too big for one bra so I have to wear two. W.T.Heck.

Update this week:

Dan and I are hiring a Doula, and for everyone in our family (or friends) asking what the heck a Doula is - read this. We are so excited to have this birthing experience be different from the first. In so many ways we were unhappy and uncomfortable with our first birth, unsatisfied with hospital procedures, and confused about a lot of things. This time I am determined to go into labor naturally, have little to no medication unless absolutely necessary and be able to walk around, try different labor positions, and most of all have more support from my doula and midwife than none at all from the nurses. She's so calm and holistic, very natural and even better... is all about essential oils in the delivery room! BONUS! I am ecstatic, nervous, anxious, all in one! 

Another SUPER DUPER exciting thing that happened this week?

I WON A BOBA!!!!! 

When I found out I jumped up and down like a little kid in a candy store, except I was a grown adult at the pumpkin farm and probably looked like an idiot for two seconds, but oh well! I was so happy! I think I entered every freakin' contest for #IBW2015 and I finally won a Boba 4g Carrier! I am so happy! I am a little disappointed (because I am picky and selfish) that it's black and not a fun, girly print but Dan's excited he can wear it too and not look silly in a girly Tula. :) I can't wait to go grocery shopping with two kids now that I have a carrier. #MomLife

Happy Crazy Thursday!

It's Thursday and it's already been one heck of a week! 

Between doctors appointments, preschool, chiropractor appointments, 

Dan's crazy, terrible long-houred work schedule, cleaning, laundry and now fleas...

it's enough to make a mom go crazy.

It's almost been a year now that I lost my job and moved on to being a SAHM. One year ago I dreamed of this job, being a full time mom that is. Being a full time stay at home mom to me meant playing, crafting, fun days and bedtime cuddles every night... shoot, even cleaning was exciting to me if it meant I was able to be home more and be involved in L's life more than I was.

I think I have posted this in my blog's way too many times before but I will say it again... 

Being a SAHM is hard work, demanding work, long hours, and it means I never get a day off. I don't sit on my ass all day and do nothing. I am lucky if I sit for 5 minutes to drink my coffee before L wants to play, read, draw, get play-doh out, etc. I love it, I really love it but some days are harder than others. Some days I want to rip my hair out, scream and cry in a corner and never come out. 

That was yesterday.

Long story short... we found fleas on Luke. 

I called Dan bawling my eyes out because after cleaning and doing my daily chores of regular laundry, as we were getting ready for nap time I happened to brush Luke and found fleas. I lost it, begged for him to come home from work, freaked out about my house being infested, and started researching things to do that work and called the vet!

So, since yesterday I have done about 8 loads of laundry, vacuumed the house more than I have in a month, washed every surface I possibly could reach and the ones I couldn't I dusted or shopvac'd like a crazy woman. I have changed all the bedding, vaccumed mattresses, washed Luke's toys, Lennon's toys, etc. given him medicine, a bath, combed him a bajillion-katrillion times and... whew... fingers crossed... haven't seen a flea since.

Well, in the midst of all this, I neglected my daughter.

I realized this today after I spent over two hours vacuuming my house, cleaning the garage, throwing more loads of blankets in, folding laundry that was done, putting clean laundry away, etc. etc. etc. I made lunch for her and I and we sat together to eat in peace and quiet - it was so nice! After lunch was done it was only about 12:30PM so instead of letting her go outside and ride her bike I told her we could after I threw laundry in and cleaned up. Well, 5 minutes of laundry turned into over two hours of work. I came upstairs, looked at the clock and it was 2:45!!!! I went to check on L and she was sitting on the floor in the same position I left her in, watching the iPad.

I scooped her up, got her ready for nap and she of course cried asking to ride her bike now and said, "but mom, you promised!!!", and once she said that I was heartbroken!

We cuddled in bed like we normally do but this time she laid right on my arm, snuggled up to me, kept saying "mom I miss you... mom, I love you" and then fell asleep in seconds! I laid awake wanting to cry, hold her forever and never let go. We napped together like this for over an hour. I fell asleep feeling guilty because earlier all I was thinking about was all the cleaning I had left to do, whether or not my dog was going to get fleas on her bed and I was clearly too tired to think anymore when I passed right out... but, not before taking these sweet pictures.

We woke up from nap time and I felt so guilty. The entire day was spent hauling her off to preschool, running errands, eating lunch and then leaving her by herself to watch the iPad for hours... I cried. 

F'ing emotional pregnancy, I tell ya! 

So I decided to make a quick dinner for us and then surprise her with some mommy & me time at open swim tonight! Off to the pool we went and seriously, her facial expression was so priceless! We spent hours at the pool swimming, chasing each other in the lap pool, jumping in the deep end, playing in the fountains and hopping like a bunny rabbit in the shallow water. It was a blast! It was so nice to be able to leave my house, to put cleaning on hold, leave my phone alone and just have fun! I don't think I've laughed that hard in the past two days. I am so thankful for this little bundle of joy, giggles and excitement. I need more moments like this! Look at that face of pure excitement... that face made my night!

So, after a long night of swimming she is exhausted, I am exhausted but we are both happier than ever. When we got home daddy helped her get pj's on and get ready for bed and she told him all about her day at the pool. She was overjoyed and so happy. It's a blessing to see her so happy! I promised her we could take a long bike ride tomorrow BEFORE we venture off to Meijer for more cleaning supplies and spend hours vacuuming and doing more loads of laundry. Then we will spend the weekend together doing whatever she wants... and maybe after church we can go to a Pumpkin Farm. Oh, and other than making her Halloween costume we will probably be making some halloween decorations and playing play-doh! Thank goodness the weekend is coming!

Goodnight!

XO.

Lennon's Birth Story

Lennon Danielle’s Birth Story

Estimated "Due Date": July 3, 2012

Born: July 11, 2012 / 4:19 AM / Covenant Harrison, Saginaw, MI / Dr. Stryker 

Gestational age: 41 Weeks, 1 Day

Weight: 6 lbs 12 oz

Height: 19.5”

I found out that I was pregnant in October 2011 while living in Alexandria, VA with Dan. Something didn’t feel normal, I was feeling sick, bloated, gaining weight and something inside of me told me that I just needed to take a pregnancy test. So, that’s what I did. Moments later I made Dan look at it and he came running into our bedroom happy as could be!

My next step was calling my best friend, McKensey to scream, cry, and ask for advice on how to tell my mother! Dan called his best friend Ryan, and his parents right away. The next day I called my mom, we bought a pregnancy photo book and then we called doctors in the area! At my first appointment we found out I was about 8 weeks pregnant!

Fast forward to July, 2012 and we were living back in Saginaw, MI. My due date quickly came and went. I spent that day leaving my last day of work for maternity leave, getting a mani/pedi and then relaxing at home. July 4, 2012 we spent the day celebrating, going to a pool party and then going to the fireworks where we ended up leaving early due to the onset of early contractions and labor signs. However it was a false alarm, which happened many nights leading up to Lennon’s arrival. I had no idea what “real contractions” felt like so many nights I was up tossing and turning, aching in pain in my lower abdomen and timing what I thought was the real deal before eventually heading into the ER. Once we got to the ER on those long nights they monitored me and the “contractions” stopped. I was sent home with high hopes it would happen again soon! That happened on and off until the day of July 11. A couple of days prior to July 11 my mucus plug came out in chunks, gross, and I had my membranes stripped at the OB office. Since I wasn’t progressing and there were no signs of real labor starting I was scheduled to be induced on July 11, 2012 at 7pm at Covenant Hospital when I was 41 weeks pregnant.

July 11^th arrives, it’s 8AM and I am pacing the house preparing everything I can for the arrival of baby. We planned on going to lunch for the last time alone, and then relaxing for the night before heading into the hospital. Well, around 2PM I was doing dishes in the kitchen while Dan was waiting to go to lunch. All of a sudden I felt like I was peeing my pants and couldn’t stop! I yelled to Dan that I think my water may have broken but then we both said, “nah, that’s supposed to be a big gush of water… maybe not!” so we went about our day. I (luckily) wore a dress to lunch, and a HUGE maxi pad! I soaked through it halfway through lunch and decided it was time to call the doctor. I called and they told me to come in right away because that’s my water breaking! So, after a trip home to grab our bags and car seat we were headed to the hospital and arrived around 4PM.

Upon arrival at the hospital I checked in and was given a room. I was immediately hooked up to the monitors for baby to be monitored, had an IV placed, and changed into my gown. We called family and friends to explain the news and waited for my doctor to come in. It seemed like hours waiting for my doctor but it was only about an hour. Dr. Stryker came in, checked my cervix and fluid levels. She explained that my cervix was firm and there was no sign of dilation, which was not ideal for my water breaking hours prior. The first thing she said was, “Well, how do you feel about a C-Section?” I was mortified. I wasn’t planning on my first birth being a c-section and I was already scared of what could happen! She insisted that they try Pitocin and Prepidil (a cervical ripening agent). I was given the Prepidil in my cervix and within about an hour I was having contractions that were 1-3 minutes apart.

Once my contractions intensified I was in a lot of pain, moaning and crying through each one. I was offered Morphine in my IV for the pain so I accepted it. Truly, it only really made me tired and groggy, it didn’t help with the painful contractions. I ended up getting out of bed, walking around my room for a bit and then asked to sit in the hot tub. I am so grateful for a room with a jacuzzi tub! Dan filled it with warm water and then once I was able to get in the tub I could only stay in it for a little bit because the contractions were pretty intense. By this time it was late, around 8PM and I needed to be checked again.

Doctor came in to check my cervix and I was already at 4CM dilated, the gel was working and I could definitely feel the pressure. She explained an epidural to me, the benefits and risks, but mostly that it would really help with the pain and let me sleep before labor began. I gave in, even though it was NOT in my plan. The process of getting an epidural while having contractions so close together was excruciating. I remember sitting on the edge of the bed, bent over with my head in my nurses’ chest and hubby holding my hand. The worst part was being told not to move when the contraction started because the needle could paralyze me. How scary is that? I held on so tight, the anesthesiologist was there to assure me everything would be great and it was in within 5 minutes. Once the epidural was in I couldn’t even tell it was there.

After the epidural was placed I was told that I couldn’t get out of bed. I had not researched epidurals too much since I wasn’t planning on getting one, so I had no idea what they entailed. Not that I really could get out of bed anyway because my toes and legs were completely numb, and that was the worst feeling in the world.

My mom arrived later that night to sit with Dan and I and stayed until about midnight when I was ready for some sleep. I fell asleep in my bed around that time and Dan fell asleep on the couch. Before falling asleep the nurses checked me, I had dilated to about 7CM and she explained the feeling I would get when I was ready to push. All she said was, “you will feel immense pressure and feel like you’re going to poop! When that happens page us ASAP!” So the night went on, sleeping sound in my bed and then it happened just like she said it would. I was woken up just after 3AM by intense pressure, the worst contractions I had felt yet, and it seemed to be all on my left side and it was not stopping!

I paged the nurses and I was screaming for Dan to wake up. After throwing a few spoons, Kleenex boxes, and then a book at him he woke up oblivious to what was going on around him. The lights were on, the nurses were in the room, they were checking me, prepping the room for delivery, etc. I was a nervous, miserable wreck but he was so supportive and stayed by my side the entire time! I was surprised to not see my doctor but was greeted by a resident, whom I had never met, dressed in green scrubs with a mask on like he was attending a surgery. He introduced himself and checked my cervix. I was completely dilated at 10CM and he said I was ready to push! I was crying from the pain and told Dan to text my mom to come back NOW as she had gone home to sleep.

Go time! It was 4AM, I had my legs put up – a nurse holding one and Dan holding the other since I could not feel a thing - then the bed was dropped down, trash bag looking things placed under my butt and a flock of nurses rushed into the room. I told the nurse I needed to push and I was told to wait. I screamed to her that I couldn’t wait, there was NO chance I was waiting, I had to push! I began pushing and as I did my mom was outside the door asking to come in… there was no way I wanted more people in the room so she waited down the hall in the waiting room where she said she could hear everything I screamed! Oops! I had no idea what I was doing. The nurse standing next to me was more than wonderful, she coached me through each contraction and told me exactly what to do. Instinctively I wanted my head back in a comfortable position but they insisted I place my chin to my chest, breathe deep and push as hard as I could. I was screaming through each contraction, as I could feel all of the pressure, pushed my chin down and pushed. I pushed a few times and then my actual OBGYN came in the room, stood in the background and coached a few pushes. Then, I felt the head pop out and the nurses asked if I wanted to touch her head, feel her hair or see her with a mirror and I was too focused on pushing to even talk to anyone! After a few minutes of pushing I gave one final huge push with all of my strength and I felt all of the body come out and heard little but loud screams and cries. I remember looking at Dan and just smiling thinking, “we did it!” as she was placed on my chest.

She was born at 4:19 AM, after less than 20 minutes of pushing.

A few minutes went by and Dan cut the cord while I delivered the placenta and was being stitched up from a small internal tear. After the cleanup, my bed was put back together so I could lie down and relax with my baby girl on my chest. She was so sweet, so calm and closed her eyes right away. My doctor looked at Dan and I and asked what her name was. Up until that moment we had been going back and forth about her name as I was passionate about one and he loved a different one. He looked at me, smiled and nodded his head. I cried, and told her “Lennon!” then he said, “Danielle” as her middle name. We had never discussed middle names but I was happy as long as I got my little Lennon!

This birth was not ideal, wasn’t perfect, was so painful and confusing, and miserable at times and I wanted things to go much differently but in the end it was beautiful, our little girl was here and we were overwhelmed with happiness.

Lennon's Field Trip Day

Today Lennon had her first EVER school field trip! 

Our day started with some obnoxious excitement from Lennon as we prepared for the day... lots of screaming, yelling about going on a big yellow school bus and the entire way to school she was asking "are we there yet?" but me? I was a nervous wreck thinking about the bus ride, the chaperones, the whole darn thing. 

[Nervous mama, here. Sorry!]

Well, we got to school and Lennon was so excited to grab her name tag and attach it to her sweatshirt. Then all of the kids lined up one by one and got on the bus! I took so many pictures like that crazy-obsessive-first time mom I am and Lennon was smiling, laughing and giggling the entire time.

Thankfully I was able to chaperone with one of my best friends and we drove behind the school bus the entire way. I am so happy I wasn't the only nervous mom today!

Once we got to the Apple Farm the kids were jumping with excitement. We lined up, went on a tour, played at the huge play place, picked some apples, learned about pressing cider, bees, colors of apples, how many seeds they have, and the best part... snack time was cider & donuts! Yum! 

Lennon was so happy that her BFF's Charlie & Maci were there. They had so much fun together and I must say, it was a nice little getaway for the parents too. :) 

Some fun photos from the day! 

Until next time... :)

Baby Bump | 7 Months

Hello, 3rd Trimester!

// Let the countdown begin // 

How far along: 28 Weeks / 7 months

Due Date: December 4, 2015

Baby Size: Approx. 14.8 inches! / 2.25 lbs. / The size of a chinese cabbage - W.T.Heck. is that?

Weight Gain: Since last week I have gained 4 lbs. I guess it's from the pumpkin spice latte, donuts and candy that's come out since FALL has officially arrived in the stores! 

Gender: GIRL

Sleep: Sleeping has been a challenge lately. My baby bump is definitely growing bigger by the day, or so it seems, and I cannot get comfortable for the life of me! I use a pillow under my belly for support at night and usually if I can fall asleep before Dan's snoring takes over I sleep like a baby! Just praying that as belly gets bigger and adds more pressure it doesn't affect my hips too much and I can sleep! 

I am feeling: I am feeling a lot of stretching in my stomach, growing pains, a lot of random urges to pee, and sharp pain in the pelvic region. It sucks taking a deep breath, it either makes me have to pee or hurts because it feels like I am trying to life an elephant off my chest. All of that pain just means that baby is growing so I guess I can't complain (too much)! Other than that... which is a lot... I am feeling good. I am rocking the prenatal workouts daily, loving how they make me feel ready for the day with tons of energy! 

Cravings: My most favorite things in the world right now are... STILL spicy foods, sriracha on absolutely everything, and I am slowly getting back into loving sugar. Cider donuts... MMMM!!! I went to Leaman's today and I wanted so badly to drink the entire cider slush Lennon had. SO MAD that they aren't pasteurized. 

Currently loving: I am loving that it's finally FALL weather! I can wear my leggings that I absolutely love and highly recommend to any preggo - Liz Lange Maternity Leggings. SO SO SO comfy! 

Currently hating: I hate the smell of BBQ sauce, again unless it's from McD's! I am not loving meat of any kind lately. I can't stand the taste, texture... etc. I had chicken nuggets yesterday (from McD's... Gross, I know!) and surprisingly I ate them and loved them but that's probably because they're fake and gross to most people. LOL!

Anxious for: I was so anxious for the 3rd trimester to start and now that it has I am so excited! I can't wait to make our final purchases for diapers, baby clothes, my Solly Wrap, etc. I am just anxious to hold her, name her, snuggle her and kiss her and never let go! :)

Update:

At my 28th week we were scheduled to go in for an ultrasound with the specialist again to check baby girls heart. Great news is that there are no holes in the heart and it's beating like crazy (around 133 BPM)! She is healthy, flexible, sucking her thumb, moving like crazy, measuring 2lbs. 12oz., in the 45th percentile, head is down (such good news, let's hope it stays down!) and measuring almost a week ahead EDD is now 11/30 but they're not officially changing my due date (I'll ask about it at my regular OB appointment this week). 

A Moment of Silence

14 years later... 

Our nation still comes together, holding hands, taking a moment of silence and crying as we remember the ones lost and the lives affected from this tragedy.  Even though this tragedy didn't take any loved ones from me I sit here and cry realizing how many lives were taken, how everyone's lives were shattered that day in fear of the world around us, how many children are without parents this morning, how many loved ones gone, and how many people are missing someone today. 

This morning at 8:46 I turned off the iPad, closed my computer, grabbed Lennon and sat her on my lap. I watched the news coverage as they took a moment of silence in front of the flag. I listened as they called the names of those lost that day and I hold my daughter so tight. I texted my husband saying I love you, I cherish the little moments every day because we never know what the next minute, hour, or day will hold. 

I don't remember what I did 14 years ago on most days. I don't remember my friends names, my teachers, but I do remember sitting in my classroom that morning as the TV was turned on and we saw the plane hit. I think that's something no one will ever forget... 

The moment the world was shocked with terror, we all remember that. We all remember that gut-wrenching feeling, the shock, the sorrow, and every year that feeling comes back for us, for some I'm sure it's daily! 

I went to New York in 2008 - It was a fun, exciting NYC vacation with our art class to see the city, explore the museums, eat amazing food, take in the outstanding artwork by famous artists at the MET and Guggenheim. One of the last days of our vacation we went to Ground Zero and it was the most impacting experience of my entire trip. When we walked up the WTC pathway and saw the fences I was overcome with an odd feeling... There was an eery silence, no one talked there, suddenly no one was laughing and the sounds of the city drowned out around me. I just stood there like all other tourists and cried as I looked up to see the American flag hanging high above the rubble, one woman prayed down on her knees, many laid flowers around the fence lines, the students I was with took photos, placed their hands over their heart, looked up to the flag. This not only affected the millions of families who lost loved ones but all of us, as Americans who believe in God, as Americans who believe in the good in the world. 

The photos from that day are breathtaking, something I will never forget. I haven't taken time to look back on the photos I took but today I did... Lennon asked what they were and I tried explaining it the best way I knew how. Someday she will read about this in history books, she will learn what evil took place that day and for years to come she will remember this day too. 

Each day, each year, each moment of our lives moving forward we never know what could happen. So we tell each other we love you, we give hugs and kisses and we always treat each day like it's our last. 

<3 

Happy 1st Birthday, Lukey!

Happy 1st Birthday, Luke!

It's been almost 1 year ago since our lives changed. We adopted this little man in November 2014 and today is his 1st birthday! I can't believe it, he's growing up so fast. 

LUKE'S FAVORITE THINGS

Lennon... They're literally best friends! Being spoiled, eating Lennons toys, Barbies with hands, tennis balls, sprinting up and down the hallway, cuddling with mama, watching movies in bed with mama & dad and snuggling by our feet all night, sleeping... a lot, giving kisses, annoying Lennon, chasing squirrels, barking at strangers, pretending he's a guard dog.

LEAST FAVORITE THINGS

Being left home alone, locked up, being ignored, and getting skunked. 

The day we brought him home...

Christmas time in his little sweater! 

& every day since then ... lots of cuddles, snuggles and kisses. 

Lennon of course would throw a birthday party for anyone, any day, as long as there's cake and ice cream involved and she gets to pick out the candles! So here is Luke's birthday cake (for us to eat of course!) complete with buttercream frosting and monster candles courtesy of Lennon - the monster loving toddler! Her favorite was the green one with all the eyes she said, too cute! 

No birthday party is complete without singing Happy Birthday, so that's what we did!

How cute are they?

& then Luke enjoyed his pup-cake from The Gourmet Cupcake Shoppe, he devoured it within seconds! I would have too, it smelled like banana and pumpkin. MMMM! It's so awesome that they make puppy cupcakes, what a GREAT idea for spoiled dogs. :)

So, that's all... We had family over, had an awesome dinner which was just take out pizza - mmm! and delicious cake and ice cream all for this little man, cuddly little lover, snuggle bug, face kisser, part time shit head, barbie doll eating, toy destroying fur ball. But, I wouldn't have it any other way! 

Happy Birthday to my one and only little boy.

I hope there's many more to come! 

XO