Somedays are worse than others in life. Bad days at work, bad nights at home, bills piling up, cranky baby. It is stress around ever corner it seems. It's times like that you want to give up. You don't want to go to the grocery store to get milk, you don't want to wake up early to work out, you don't want to wash dishes, mop the floor, spend any more money on birthday parties or weddings... You just want to give up. Quit your job, stay at home with the baby... Life could be, in your dreams, perfect.
I drove home tonight in the gloomy, cloudy, rain and as Lennon is crying in the back seat I wanted to give up. I turned up the oldies station I was listening to even though I had a headache. On top of that, I have a cold, I'm tired, I'm drained, I'm stressed out. I feel like I could just fall asleep...
I am at a stop light zoned out trying to drown out the helpless cries of a tired 11 month old... and out of nowhere I see a rainbow, it's peaking through the clouds just enough for me to see the pink hues and the blue shining clouds. At that moment I hear my papas song. Let it be, let it be, whisper words of wisdom, let it be.
I got goosebumps.
I turned the radio down, Lennon had fallen asleep, the light turned green and I began singing and tearing up as I drove home. He was there with me. I needed strength and He was there, I needed hope and He was there. Even on my worst days I have him.
It reminded me of one of my favorite songs... It brings tears to my eyes just typing this as I am rocking little Lennon to sleep. How could I be mad at such a little babe when she's just tired? How can I be so stressed out, it's just a job? How can I let the little things get to me when I have such a beautiful life and so much to be thankful for? I just have to learn to let it be.
:)
I've been to church,
I've read the book,
I know He's there,
But I don't look,
near as often as I should,
His fingerprints are everywhere,
I just look down and stop and stare,
open my eyes and then I swear,
I Saw God Today
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