I promise you...

Dear Lennon,

I will make promises to you that I will keep. I will always do these things for you, with you, and watch you grow. I will always be here, and I am so blessed to have you. 

I will protect you & I will fight for you... I know that life may not always be safe. Life may not always be fair, and I will not always be next to you as you grow up but I am always here. Know that it am here to heal all wounds, fight all battles... As long as you try really hard first... and I will stand up for you no matter what. People will hurt you, some may tear you down and try their hardest to make you cry but know that you are strong and wise. You are beautiful and you are humble. You will stand tall amongst the others and you will fight your battles like a strong, courageous woman.

I will hold your hand. When you're 15 months old and walk along side me saying "mama", when you're 10 and scared to ride your first roller coaster, when you're going out on your first date, before you walk out the door and when you're 18 about to go off to college, when you're getting married and going to walk down the aisle to the man of your dreams. I will hold your hand when you are having your first baby and hopefully you will hold mine when I need you most too.

I will kiss your cheeks and keep your nose warm... When you're trying to fall asleep and you're snuggling into me, I will keep you warm. I will kiss your cheeks as much as I can until you're embarrassed. 

I listen to you breathe every night before I fall asleep. I have to listen to you before I can fall asleep... I turn the monitor up, I listen to you breathing. Or I will walk in your room and look at you snuggled up warm in your footsie jam's and silky blankey breathing so gently. 

I will love you no matter what. We all make mistakes. I will learn with you, love with you, cry with you and hold your head high for you when you can't. I will teach you right from wrong even when you don't want to listen because I'm your mother... I will watch you make mistakes and learn from them. I will guide you like my mother guided me, I will never take one single moment for granted and I will love you no matter what, always and forever. 

I will walk with you... Every step of your life. I won't miss an important moment. I will walk with you no matter how rainy or cold, no matter how long the trip. I will walk with you. 

I will carry you... Up the stairs when you're already asleep in my arms. I will carry you when you're too tired, too upset or too weak. 

I will guide you... To your goals and dreams. To your wishes and hopes. I will guide you to the truth, the real world and the happy places. I will guide you when you're lost, I will help you find your way through the darkest days and the saddest moments. I will show you true love and happy moments. 

I will sing to you... Every night I rock you to sleep and every morning we wake up happy and alive and well. I will hum to you every Beatles song my papa used to sing to me as a baby. I will play the music for you so you know what love feels like for me.

I will hug you every day. I will never let a day go by I don't hug you, squeeze you, or tell you how much you mean to me. You hug me back and I know that you feel what it means. You lay your head on my shoulder and hug me so tight it brings tears to my eyes. I will hug you forever.

I will tell you I love you every day... I will never forget to tell you I love you and when the day comes that you can say it back I'm sure there will be tears in my eyes. I love you, and I would shout it from the highest mountain in the world!

I will show you what love is. Through my actions and words, I will demonstrate love in all kinds. Passion, and caring, and real, true love. I will kiss daddy in front of you, I will hug him until I have to stop, I will tell him I love him every day and you will too. We will be a loving family and you will grow up knowing and feeling that not a day goes by that we don't love.

I will wipe your tears, your skinned knee, your boogers and your food stains. I will be there for you when you're sad, broken, sick or messy. I will be there to pick up the peices and put you back together.

I will watch endless hours of Thomas the train with you, saying choo-choo every time it comes on. I will watch my favorite movies with you, and we will watch them as we are older reminiscing on the old days. 

I will tell you about your family that's no longer here with us so you know how important they are. My Papa and Grandma (in the brown house.... You'll get it someday). They were the best grandparents a girl could ask for. You're named Lennon because of my Papa, and I know they are here with us every day. They would love you, and kiss your chubby cheeks and spoil you rotten with kisses and hugs and candy when Grandma isn't looking! My Great Grandpa, he loved you. He smiled ear to ear when he held you for the first time and he always smiled when I would bring you around. Grumpy Tuck, he would play with you and laugh with you, and probably teach you how to fish. He was a strong old man, but he would have treated you like a princess. 

I will forever remember the day I first saw you, a little turtle on the ultra sound... Squirming around and swimming. I remember the day I found out you were a little girl, how happy I was to have a mini-me. The day you were born though, that was the best day of my life. You layed right on my chest, and I cried... I told you how much I love you and I cried some more. My whole world changed that day. Now everything I do, I do for you. Everything I say, you repeat. Every decision I make, effects your life. I do everything while thinking of you. I promise you these thjngs because they're true. You're my life, you and your daddy... My life, my world, and I promise you I will love you, cherish you, tell you you're beautiful and never hurt you. 

I love you, Lennon. 

XO