One of the best things have been spending more time with our little, yet so grown up, Lennon. Lennon has been growing up so fast - learning new things, saying new words, putting words together, talking - and talking back, singing songs, climbing, jumping, running and soaking up so much of our love. She's truly a blessing to us, and this world of ours that she makes more beautiful everyday that she wakes up and smiles.
Dan and I recently got back from our beautiful honeymoon in Mexico. I can't even begin to explain how amazing it was. Beautiful doesn't even explain the white sand and crystal clear water. Breathtaking is an understatement when describing the view from our bedroom balcony over the ocean, the view from our goggles as we snorkeled above the ocean floor and the feel of the sand between our toes as we sat on the beach and gazed at the stars above the sea. I fell more in love with the world, was reminded how amazing it is and how relaxing life can be. I fell more in love with the simple life - hence the reason why I haven't been so consumed with blogging - and Dan and I fell more in love with being married. It was simply amazing.
Coming home and finally arriving safe on U.S soil was a huge relief. I HATE flying - especially over the damn ocean and I seriously have a fear of flying so thankfully we don't travel much.
Since we have been home we have been really serious about making a plan for our future. It's been hard making decisions on what to do, where to apply for jobs, where to live, move or not to move, blah-blah-blah. I have SO many mixed emotions on all subjects so it's a difficult, stressful time. 1. I want a safe place to raise my daughter and future littles 2. I want to leave Saginaw - ASAP! 3. I want to be a stay at home mom so I can watch my children grow up 4. I want Dan to do what he is passionate about and make a good living 5. I want to go back to school 6. I want to start my own business 7. I want to write a children's book and have Lennon illustrate it 8. I want a beautiful home 9. I want a puppy 10. I just want to be HAPPY!! - that's not asking too much, right?
Seriously, I would love to stay in Michigan and be close to family but it may not be the best place for my family and for the 3 of us - for now - to build our future. Friends and family have been giving me advice, talking to me about my options and honestly... It's all up to us and that's the hardest part. I can vent all I want but in reality, it makes it harder just the idea of leaving. As I am writing this, my hubs is probably applying for jobs across the country... D.C, California, Florida... Ugh. I'm getting anxiety just thinking about this. Will I ever make up my mind?
Life is about making plans, setting goals and (hopefully) eventually, achieving your dreams. We all have them, only some of us see our goals come to life and I am not willing to be one of the people who let's their dreams pass them by. I have to keep reminding myself that dreams can come true but they take time.
In time ... it will happen :)
Lennon needs me. She is so happy and overly hyper when we finally get home from the long day and play. We read, we play with Elmo, we color, chalkboard color, watch Sophia... sit on the couch for a snack and then repeat. I see her for about a few hours a night, 3 nights a week and on the weekends. It SUCKS. It's probably more than most working families and for that, I am grateful but I feel guilty for not giving her enough of my time. She's growing up so fast and I'm missing so much. I hate it.
Our future will be bright. It will be spent coloring all day, taking walks, spending days in our jammie's all day long, keeping the house messy to see if I can let it go and relax, writing books and not having alarm clocks. I can't wait for those days! Hopefully they're sooner than later.
XO.
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