But as I sit here and think of what I will say to him, I am holding my daughter tightly. Her little red chubby cheeks are puckering as she's sucking on her paci and holding my finger tightly with her soft little hand. All of the horrible things in this universe surround me and consume me on a daily basis. The awful corporate world that everyone strives to be in, the job and the goals that I pushed myself so hard to achieve are at my fingertips and I hate every ounce of it. The universe has so many opportunities for me and for my family.
So, why am I stuck in this corporate bull-shit world? I don't know... I ask myself that every morning at 8:05 when the coffee pot is brewing and my boss is on the phone laughing like an obnoxious animal. I look at my life, my family and my little girl and think...
If it weren't for you being the center of my universe; my universe would collapse. My job means supporting my family, providing for my self and my loved ones and I'm just going to suck it up until that day I can get out. And until then my universe will be filled with sucking up to bosses, running nonsense reports and being treated like dirt but at least I have a goal. And that goal is to be home with my baby girl, and make myself the center of her universe.
I will never miss a thing...
I cried tonight as I was saying goodnight to her. She was in her daddy's arms and he was rocking her as she was crying for her bottle. I handed it to her and with two hands she grabbed it and put it right in her mouth. I kissed her on the forehead and walked out. I have a 7 month old baby and I haven't been home with her since she was 6 weeks old. I miss it... I want to work toward my goal of being a stay at home mom. I can do it... I know I can.
<3
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