Challenge the Pest

Today was a challenge for me...

Mentally,
Emotionally...
& throw PMS in the mix and you're just screwed.

Well, I've always been the woman to accept any challenge given to me. Especially now since I have been blessed to be a mother I face more challenges than ever before but this one is one I have never been faced with. A challenge with a pest. The human kind of pest. This challenge brings me to my end. The end of my patience, my strength and my hope.

My biggest hope and dream in life is to be successful in all that I do. When I am not successful it hurts, it kills me. Today I reached that point where I began to feel as if all my hard work wasn't paying off... Why do I have that one little pest of a thing in my way challenging me every day? A pest in the workplace causes tension. Drama. Stress upon the stress that's already there.

This pest gets worse every day. Pushing boundaries, pushing the rules to the breaking point, and worst of all pushing my damn buttons!

This pest is the challenge and it's truly getting to me. I've never let anyone get under my skin before and this is one sneaky son.of.a.bitch!

I cried the whole way home...
How do I handle stress? Not well.
Usually a glass of red wine and a blog or two... Confiding in my fiancé, but he doesn't care about work drama, or cuddling with my Lennon, who didn't fall asleep until 10:00 because she was so overly tired she cried herself to sleep?

It's everywhere. This pest needs to go.
I need to find a happy place...

I need a vacation.

Good news... This weekend was the last one I'm working for 1 more month. Wooooo!

Done. End rant.
Maybe Monday will be better.

Written in Ink

So when I was pregnant I was obviously thinking about baby names. Boy names... Girl names... All until one night I had a dream (you can read about in previous posts), and realized what I wanted to... No, what I needed to name my baby!

But, I wasn't the only mind that mattered here. I had to include my boyfriend. I tossed around a couple of ideas but all along I had the gut feeling that I had to name him or her the name in my dream.

Well, I got my maternity pictures done when I was 25 weeks pregnant and I decided that I would do a little something extra for when she was born. I decided that "just in case" I needed a belly picture with the baby name next to it. I'm not a fan of photoshop so I just went for it!

Well, it was written in ink on a cute postcard with flowers on it and I held it by my belly. I was confident that someday that picture would come in handy!

Well. Thank goodness I did because her name is Lennon, it means the world to me and I don't care who doesn't like it! :)

So, here are a couple of the pics NO ONE but Miss Katie, my photographer, has seen.

They will definitely be going in the nursery!

Too Fast

In life everyone is always waiting for the next move, the next step. You wait all your life to watch your child crawl for the first time, get their first tooth, take their first step.

Well, when that time comes there's no camera around its not like the movies. Theres no drumroll, no balloons, clowns singing songs or children laughing in the background. It's you, your child and the love of your life sitting next to you, and that's okay. That's more than okay, it's actually perfect.

Lennons 9th month in this world has been outstanding so far! She has only been 9 months for about 11 days now but she sure is lovin' it. She has learned how to stand up all by herself, she has learned how to wave better, say buh-bye, play peek-a-boo all by herself and she got her first tooth today!

She has been learning and growing so much lately, I just can't stand it. I have waited so long for these first moments and she is flying through them. I wish I had a camera attached to my head at all times!

Tonight I took Lennon for a walk with some great friends! Our neighbors and dear friends Justin and Stephanie and their kids and one of my best friends Jes and her hubby Nik and their son Mason. We walked around the soccer complex, watched the boys play soccer and the little ones loved Lennon. She sat in the stroller loving the outdoors and watching the boys and Cayla play soccer! I realized tonight as I watched my daughter interact with little kids that she is growing up too fast. We took her back inside and she pulled herself up on the walker, stood all by herself and played all night.

My little girls baby "firsts" are almost gone. She's crawling, standing, teething, has a tooth, waving, talking, laughing, loving, kissing, throwing toys, the whole dang nine yards. She is loving growing up and I am loving watching her but I just wish she would slow down a bit so I could enjoy watching her crawl around.

My sweet baby girl is getting so big!!

I need you

I learned something from my daughter tonight. She is holding the neck of my shirt tightly and I am rocking so gently to be sure she falls asleep. She is blinking so heavily, her lips puckered around her paci and she is dozing off to la-la-land. A minute or two ago she was crying. Probably because of her teeth almost popping through, or maybe the fact that she hasn't eaten well today, she's over tired or she just wants to cuddle. She was crying, arching her back and fighting the cuddling and the bottle I was trying to feed her. I was frustrated. I was so frustrated that in my head I am thinking, "okay seriously child... Go to bed!" At that moment I looked down at her, she was rubbing her eyes with her little fist, yawning and holding into her paci with the other hand as she is lying here in my arms. At that moment I sighed, gave her a kiss on her forehead and said,"i love you!" She may throw her temper tantrums, fight going to bed and get mad when she doesn't get her way but in that moment when I looked into her eyes and kissed her sweet face she was perfect. I remember the day she was born, lying on my chest and thinking to myself, "I am so in love with this little girl!"

I got that feeling again tonight. I looked down at her so peaceful and content, now sleeping and dreaming as I rock gently. I think about her dreams, her thoughts and my dreams for her. I can't imagine my life without this little girl. I don't even want to picture my life without her... Everything I love is wrapped into this little tiny baby girl, everything I dream of, everything I am passionate about. Lennon is my life, my heart and soul in this world.

Many times I forget how precious our lives are to one another. How much she needs me and how I need her probably more than she needs me... I think about my life with her, my life with out her and my life 50 years from this very moment maybe holding my grandchild one day rocking them to sleep like this. These temper tantrums, moments when I want to give up, throw in the mom-towel and let her cry herself to sleep - I realize she needs me and I need her and I hope that never goes away.

Good night, Lennon.
I love you more than words can say.
XOXO

A Dream vs Reality... How-To Plan your OWN Wedding

So, this little [rather long actually] blog is my adventure into the wedding planning thus far. So, wedding planning started as soon as we got engaged! [November of 2012] Reality set in, I WAS ENGAGED... and I was soon planning my dream wedding!

FIRST THING I DID? ... stare at my ring. THEN...
Tell my best friend! It was late at night, we were ready to go out but yes, McKensey got the very first call. How I love her. Then my mom, then my dad!
SECOND THING I DID? ... stare at my ring. THEN...
Tell EVERYONE at the bar and on every social networking site! DUH.
THIRD THING I DID? okay... I kept staring at my ring the whole time...
THEN... I created the Pinterest page I have always wanted to create. Now I finally had a reason to! My dreams were about to come to life.

Here's how it went...

We took a tour of my Dream Wedding Venue's elaborate ballrooms, amazing [package included] over the top décor, delicious looking menu options, champagne, bridal suite, with grand chandeliers and cathedral ceilings, a 100 person dance floor... It seriously was the whole nine-ten-eleven yards. I could go on and on about the brilliance of the place. Well, folks that was my FIRST mistake...

Tip #1
Do NOT go to the most expensive venue in the tri-cities for your FIRST wedding experience & talk to the most elaborate-minded-richy-snob in the universe to plan the wedding.

After we left there reality really set in that we were on a tight budget. Over $8,000 for a reception was over the top expensive. We finally explored other options and my dreams were starting to fade of having a big ballroom wedding with a million and one [well, 250] guests. Oh, well cuts had to be made.

Tip #2
Talk to your family BEFORE going on a tour of a venue. See who is contributing, what they're contributing and when! This helps so much in deciding on a venue. Let me tell ya, weddings are not cheap and it's best to know ahead of time so you don't look like a fool not returning the 100 emails and phone calls from the elaborate-minded-richy-snob from that dream wedding venue of yours.

So, we toured another place... a little further down the road and attached to a ... bowling alley?! Sounds horrible, but it's really not that bad. Actually, its quite nice. We walked in and met with the most incredibly nice woman ever! We sat down, went over the catering, the alcohol, the guest list, the DJ options, the décor, the size of the place, etc. A little bit into the conversation we were set. We took a tour of the "ballroom" and I was convinced. I knew I could make it into the wedding of my dreams with a little glitter, and decorations I was good to go!

Tip #3
If you meet a wedding coordinator at the venue and they offer to throw things in for free, take it! She seriously saved us over 100 dollars. Hey, every dime counts when you're on a budget.

We finally had our reception venue. We were happy with our decision and we cannot wait to decorate it to make it look like we want it to!

On to the ceremony. Daniel and I are not church people. I don't mean to offend when I say it like that but, what I mean is we don't go to church all the time and we didn't want a big church wedding. We wanted something small, middle of nowhere, big windows, trees, snow... Oh, did I mention I have always wanted a winter-wonderland wedding? So, our wedding is in December. December 21st was my date that I wanted so badly. Of course, the wedding ceremony venue that we wanted was not open that day due to being so close to the Holidays. So, we went with December 7th. Good enough, after all it's just a date right? So, we chose a ceremony out in the wooded area, with BIG floor to ceiling windows, a cathedral ceiling and beautiful views of the snow covered trees. [Well, that's if there is snow. Keeping my fingers crossed!] PS, know anyone with a snow machine? I am so dead serious!

Tip #4
Pick your wedding date before choosing your venues! Many places will offer deals for having your wedding in the "off season". This will really help with your budget.

We had the ceremony down, the reception down and now off to figuring out the guest list, budget, décor, gifts, bridal party... etc.

Tip #5
Pick your bridal party FIRST and foremost. This helps ease the minds of your friends when you are with everyone talking about the wedding! Trust me, you will have every.single.one.of.your,gosh.darn.friends.aquaintances.exboyfriendgirlfriendscousinsbrotherinlawssistersmother. ask to be in your wedding party. Just pick your damn wedding party before this chaos kicks in [and, seriously don't feel bad when you pick your party and then all of those said chaotic people try to ask you politely, drunkly, passionately, lovingly orrrrrr... even honestly to be in it and you say, No sorry, picked them already! They'll get over it].

We realized soon after all of this that money is a big issue. We didn't want to be those people that asked everyone for money. So, we I started making a list. I created a binder with absolutely everything we need for the wedding. With a lot of helpful hints from a lovely bridesmaid of mine who is a newlywed, I was ready to plan my own wedding. I bought a 1 inch binder, sheet protectors and started printing everything I needed. This binder starts off with a wedding checklist that Daniel found online which is a very detailed start to finish checklist of what the average bride and groom need to complete on their wedding day. So after we put our checklist in the front I organized it by guest list, ceremony, reception, rehearsal dinner, bridesmaids, groomsmen, bride, groom, rest of wedding party, and finally the honeymoon.

Tip #6
Stay organized! Keep adding to this binder whenever and wherever you go. Keep a notes file in your iPhone, a notebook in your purse, and the binder in s SAFE place. [Let me tell ya, I left it at Michael's one time and thank-goodness the cashier saw it in the cart while closing the store]. That binder will be your lifeline and should go with you every time you go talk to someone that is involved in the wedding i.e; the cake lady, the reception lady, the photographer, etc. Print off any pictures from google, pinterest [don't even get me started on pinterest], Facebook, everywhere! This will help bring your vision to life.

We chose our photographer right away. We decided who we wanted as soon as we knew we were getting married! She is a family friend and has done many weddings of people I know. She is phenomenal and a joy to work with. I recommend her to anyone I know!! CHECK OUT HER PAGE - Heidi McGrandy Photography - The first day that we went to meet with her she knew our vision.

Tip #7
Before you meet with your photographers that you have in mind have an idea in mind of what you want for your wedding. It also doesn't hurt to create a Pinterest page!! Create a page for your wedding with all of your visions and ideas. Chances are your photographer will have a page too and will be able to look at your vision throughout the planning and will make it so much easier for her to create your special day. Check out all of my wedding ideas here - Kaila's Pinterest Wedding Board.

After having your ceremony, reception, and photographer you're starting to piece it all together... You're one step closer to having the wedding of your dreams.

Next step: Dresses, Bridesmaids dresses, tuxes, flowers, decorations...

Okay, so as a little girl you picture yourself in a wedding gown. Walking down the aisle in the most perfect satin dress with a long veil, flowers, the whole shebang! I had my DREAM DRESS picked out. I knew exactly what I wanted. That is, until I saw the price. But, even then I looked at the dress online again and said to myself, "Okay I will try it on! If I love it, it's worth it!" I chose my mother to go with me to go dress shopping looking. I was just going to LOOK!

Tip #8
When choosing to go dress shopping, be prepared. You WILL find the dress of your dreams, and you WILL be pressured into buying it that day! If you find the dress of your dreams go there! Go to the store that you have found that dress FIRST because every woman I know found "THE" dress at the first bridal shop. Going into the first appointment with your bridal consultant tell her what you are looking for. Tell her your vision and tell her that you want to find that DREAM dress at a cheaper price. Let me tell you, David's Bridal is phenomenal! My bridal consultant was kind, and patient and knew exactly what I wanted. She chose 3 dresses similar to my DREAM dress that I wanted. I started really cheap and worked my way up to that perfect dress hanging on the rack next to me. [Tip #8 1/2... don't try on that dream dress first... Chances are you won't take it off and nothing will compare!] Tried on the first 2 and eh, pretty but not that wow-factor. Tried on the third and walked out, and wow... that was it.

So, there ya have it. I had my dream dress. Which was actually better than my dream dress on the rack across the room! My mom and I were in tears and we loved it! Within 30 minutes of being in the bridal store I found my dress! Read about it here - I Rang The Bell!

Now, onto the colors! Dan and I chose our colors and I am not a 'blue' person at all... What is our wedding color? Blue. But, hey a man has to have some say in the wedding... and it's a beautiful color. I LOVE IT now that I see it on.

I decided to DIY everything. Budget, hellooooo! So, Dan and I went to pinterest, again! I found so many cute ideas on how to DIY my wedding. I found tips on saving money, buying things from the Dollar Tree, fake flowers to make my own bouquets with, making my own table numbers with picture frames... the list goes on and on!

Tip #9
Do not overwhelm yourself. I am not getting married until December and I have almost everything bought for my wedding decorations. The more you buy now the less stress you will have toward the wedding.

We started buying right away. Buy only when you have coupons and buy in bulk. Etsy.com, amazon.com, and search more unique craft websites that offer you discounts for buying more than one wedding item from them.

I have a bakers rack in my kitchen, and currently it's FULL of wedding stuff. Bags, diaper boxes filled with vases, flowers, snowflakes, invites, and more!

Tip #10
HAVE A PLACE TO STORE THIS CRAP.
I don't... and IT SUCKS. I am OCD, I am going nuts with having my kitchen cluttered with wedding, wedding, wedding... and not to mention when Lennon throws her carrots all over the damn floor guess where it goes? ALL OVER MY WEDDING INVITES. Want to know what color they are? WHITE. [fml?]

So, we are at a road block now.
We have bought everything we need for the ceremony, reception, and everything in between. We have our venue, hair appointment is scheduled, dress bought, flower girl dress bought, bridesmaids dresses ordered, DJ picked out, limo guy is almost bought, photographer paid, ... now we have to wait. I have A LOT of spray painting to do this summer. I will post pictures along the way.

... and don't worry. I will be adding to this post as I can with more TIPS and our fun adventure to planning our own wedding with a crazy 9 month old who is into everything. If my DIY crafts make it that far. Maybe I will add a touch of orange carrots to the wedding colors? :)

 

Everything Happens for a Reason

I got out of the car yesterday, heading into the bridal show at the Horizons Center and noticed there was a truck outside for a local radio station playing some oldies. As we were walking in a song by John Lennon came on the loud speaker.

I said to Dan, "see, it's like it's meant to be!" He laughed and said, "yeah, right!" [Did I mention before he STILL doesn't like the name of our daughter?! Mmmm].

Soon after leaving I hear a song come on the radio, a familiar voice in my head says, "turn it up!" It's Paul. "She loves you yeah, yeah, yeah..."

http://youtu.be/T0YifXhm-Zc


It rang in my ear for hours after we got home. I found myself playing on the floor with Lennon saying, "she loves you, yeah yeah yeah... mommy loves you, yeah yeah yeah!!" Silly, right? What can I say? I love my baby girl.

It reminded me of my Papa, always singing in my ear. Always playing the guitar and singing. I remember grabbing his microphones and dancing around in my Grandma's heels in the blue room just laughing and singing. Singing what, I don't recall but knowing my family, it was probably The Beatles.

It's everywhere I go. It's in the grocery store, the mall, the radio station. It's at the gift shop with their faces, phrases and song lyrics on everything. Its my Papas voice. It's in my mind. It's in my heart. And it's forever in my arms as I rock my sweet Lennon to bed I thank God for the dream I had. I thank Him for creating reasons like this for why things happen in life. The dream I had that night changed my life forever.

Lennon, Momma loves you.
Yeah, yeah, Yeah.

XOXO

Lennon is 8 months

LENNON IS 8 MONTHS OLD... What?

Yep, she's 4 months away from the big FIRST birthday!

Seriously?

Yep.

 

 

 

I have experienced more in this past month than in the 8 combined. Our daughter has grown so much, its truly breathtaking. She's learning, exploring, and teaching me and Dan things we have never known before. Dan and I said to each other last night, "remember when she was a baby? She would sleep the whole time at the grocery store?" and, "remember when you were pregnant and we would cuddle like this and she would kick my arm that was on your belly so hard!?" Those are the memories we will cherish forever. Those little moments that bring us closer together, our hearts just melt. We lay in bed laughing about the silly things that Lennon did that day, the amazing moments that she did something new, and the funny moments where she laughs uncontrollably at us tickling her or playing peek-a-boo! This 8 month old child is amazing.

 

Well, Lennon is crawling! ...finally! She started army crawling [dad says she learned from the best, probably!] a few weeks ago and now she is pulling herself around with her hands on the carpet and pushing her herself with her toes! She's all over the place now! [the only place she won't go is the kitchen floor. The linoleum scares her... That's okay with us! Not as much to get into in the living room:)!]

Lennon is waving "hello" and "buh-bye". She is saying "buh-bye" when Daddy leaves for work and "bubba" when she sees her bottle. She is saying Dada more and more and recognizing who he is when he walks in by saying, "hi, dada"! I swear, she better say "Mama" soon!!

 

 

Ya, know... these monthly stickers are getting harder.

She likes to take them off and eat them!

 

...and there it goes!

 

hmm, what is this thing?

 

... I got it, Mom!

 

...Can I eat this?

 

...ew, it's sticky!!

 

Look, Mom & Dad! I can stand all by myself!

 

Lennon is standing all by herself. You stand her up and she stays there for a while. But, before you know it she is on her butt again, crawling over to her toys! But, nonetheless, she's learning! She still doesn't have her tooth yet! It's sitting there being stubborn. When she sleeps she sounds like a baby puppy. She makes the cutest noises in the world and covers her eyes with her hands. It's literally the sweetest thing in the world!

 

I can't wait to watch her grow, learn and explore more and more as she learns to walk and talk! She amazes us more and more every single day... I cannot wait for summer time at the beach and in the pools!! :)

 

More FUN to come...

Happy 8 months sweet Lennon Danielle.

 

Happy! Happy! Easter!

Crawling, Waving, Laughing, Playing..
Just to name a few of the things little Lennon did on Easter Sunday!

Yep! She crawled for the first time. Well, she scooted really good. No knees yet, just army crawling. And like I said, Dan thinks she got this all from him. He leaves the room, she waves and says "Da-Da", and she's crawling - scooting to get to her toys and our printer that she loves so much!

The sun was shining, it was over 50 degrees and Lennon was wearing a pretty sun dress! It was gorgeous! We matched with our mint green and pink outfits. Except, Mommy had the heels! :) Lennon was excited to open her Easter baskets and pass out the cards she hand painted for everyone! She was over joyed to try on her new sunglasses from Aunt Shannon, chew in her new butterfly from Grandpa Tuck and Jenny, snuggle with the stuffed animals from Great Grandma and Great Great Grandma and she's going to love her new outfits, Tigers shirt, and beach towel from her Nana, Papa, GG and Grandpa! Yeah, I would definitely say my daughter is so spoiled. She LOVES it!!

There is nothin' better than seeing your child's face light up when they see a new shiny toy or they realize they made it across the living room floor to get it! Lennon lights up our life more than any sun could ever have done.

Today the theme at work was Make A Change Monday. As a good work friend says, "Jesus is free and so are you!" It's time to make a change for the better. Eat better, Live better, make a change and that change starts from within. Today I am one step closer, one mile farther than I was before and I am ready for this new change, whatever it may be. ;)

Happy, Happy Easter!!! Here are a few pictures :)