Dear Daughter,

You'll always be my first...

When I saw that title on a blog I knew that I had to read it. It turned out that a minute into it I was wiping the tears away just so I could see to read on. That's when I read, "You, you, you. You're the one who burst my heart wide open. You taught me what wild, uncontrollable, unlimited, unconditional love feels like. You changed everything. You turned me into a mom." 

Every word out of this mama's mouth typed into this blog are spot on, so true. 

You must read it... but if you're a mom of two you will cry, so grab a tissue! 
You'll Always Be My First - Amy Wruble

Lennon, you're my baby. The day that I found out I was pregnant my life changed. I did everything with YOU in mind, what I ate, what I did, where I was, who I was around and even what I wore revolved around YOU from that day forward. When you were born our lives changed, my life was more beautiful every single day because you were in it. I smiled when you smiled, I cried when you cried - mostly out of sadness because I didn't know how to make you happy in that moment, and many times out of frustration wanting to be a better soother, cuddler, boo-boo healer, a better mom. When I held you the world went away, everything around me was quiet, the sun felt warmer, the winter days felt cozier, the only thing that mattered was you and I. 

I wrote a blog when you were just 6 months old, My Teacher, I cried reading it again because of the truth to it. You taught me how to love, how to be patient, kind and caring, how to let the dishes wait, let the cell phone go to silent and most importantly how to be a mom. I am who I am because of YOU and I am so grateful for that every single day. Every single day you continue to teach me patience and kindness, love for God and love for family. You still teach me every day to love life. We love to explore the little things in life, embrace the silly things, dress up and act like a fool, just because it's fun and you love it. 

Now, you're 3 years old and you're preparing for this life changing event of becoming a big sister and welcoming her into our lives. You are going to be so kind, so loving and so gentle with her. I just know that you will be great with her! I am anxious to see the look in your eyes when you meet her, see the way you smile when you hold her and hear you say, "I love you" with as much love as I had when I said it to you for the very first time. I know it's scary, it's a new change and there will be times when it's frustrating when we can't do everything together as just the two of us anymore. I am nervous for that too, really scared actually to see how you will react to the change and how you embrace it. But, you must know that we will be embracing it together. As you grow into a big sister, and me into a second time mom, we will be embracing this change together and learning to love our new family of 4 in a new way. There may not be as many adventures to the store, trips to the park on a random afternoon, or ice cream trips but we will have fun, we will do things together, we will embrace little sister being here, play with her, play when she's sleeping and still color tons of pictures.

But, as for now before baby sister arrives I will snuggle you every moment I can, I will kiss you a million times a day and always say I LOVE YOU. I will color with you when you want me to, I will play barbies for hours on end, I will chase you around the backyard and hide from swamp monsters and I will run up and down the road with you while you ride your bike. I will watch you sleep peacefully, I will remember each moment and try to never forget it. I will cherish every moment with you, just you and I because soon it will all change... 

As she said in her blog, "So when you're feeling frustrated because I'm nursing your sister instead of playing dress-up, or because I might use stern words with you but not her (she's just a baby), or because I can't stop talking about how cute she is (Mom likes infants the way you like ponies), know that there is more than enough love for both of you, because of the ever-expanding place in my heart that you made. You, you, you. You will always be my first."

I love you, Lennon.

XO