My 40 Days - Social Media Free

As a mom in today's world I often feel smothered, judged, and consumed. I'm a stay at home mom yet my time is consumed with social media; blogging, Instagram posting, FB'ing to follow the latest trends. I'm always making sure I'm on top of things and dreaming of my kids have the newest, cute clothes and the latest limited edition cloth diaper and name brand baby products. Tonight I read a blog a mom wrote that was about how social media is making her a bad mother, not living in the moment, and most of all she was neglecting the things that mattered most... her kids. 

Here - read it. It's amazing!! http://www.babble.com/mom/computer-addiction-internet-time-with-kids/

I couldn't have written the blog better myself - it's like she was me, in my shoes, in my house with the laptop being next to the couch... I mean, come on! Seriously, it was my life in a nutshell. And, it was awful looking at it that way. It shed some light on what I've known for a long time. Social media and I have a love hate relationship. It's bad. I feel bad knowing that in the morning I catch up on the latest posts while drinking coffee and Lennon watches the iPad... But then an hour goes by and Kelly & Michael is on tv so guess what? I'm consumed. I feel bad that yesterday L asked me at least 5 times to play CandyLand with her and every single time I had a reason why I couldn't. Today I was on my phone everytime London was nursing instead of watching her, starring at her and just taking in the beauty of motherhood. I think what hit me the hardest was she said she was a slave to social media... Interacting with many people on any given day but neglecting the two that mattered most... 

Last year I posted a blog just before Lent about what the next 40 days had in store for me. I vowed to do quite a few things... Read the Bible more, instead of logging onto FB and IG and Pinterest in the mornings log onto the Bible app to read about he verse of the day or better yet... Open a Bible! Pray with Lennon every night and read the Bible with her, put the phones and computers away at night, thank God daily for what he's given us and stop complaining for what I don't have. Too many things on that list revolve around social media. The problem is... I went back to my old, toxic ways right after lent. I was begging for it to be over... Why? To stalk Nickis Diapers for the latest release?, to browse my "friends" Facebook pages of them partying, complaining about life or binge watching Netflix shows? Who cares... I would 100% rather watch my kids play, laugh, learn and enjoy life with them. I would rather text and call my friends than read about their lives on FB. I would rather have my family come see my kids than ask how they're doing on FB. My best friend is encouraging, she's been spending more time with her kids and making sure we still have time for each other. Our chats have been amazing, how to be better moms and be more present with our kids. Simplifying our lives, less clutter and less mess. We have learned to be moms these past few years and it's changed us for the best. 

This year I'm making it a promise to myself and my husband, my kids and my family to be more present. Not just over lent but over the entire year to change my lifestyle. No more hour long Facebook sessions just because I'm stuck nursing or laying with Lennon at nap time, no more IG all night while I'm nursing London to sleep. Instead, I'll embrace the cuddles, stare at London while she's nursing, kiss her cheeks, watch movies with my husband at night, chat with him about real things and not stupid-funny Facebook memes. I will start to read the Bible more this year with my family and not just on the weekends at church. It begins with a simple X. X to close out the apps on my phone I frequent most and putting my computer away... After all, I only use it to chat on FB when my thumbs get tired on my phone. Lazyyyyy. But, most of all I need to be a better mom, a better wife and a better me. It starts now... Cheers to my 40 days, and making them count forever. 

This . Is. Everything. 

Off to spend time with these little bundles of joy! 

Mommin' is Tough

It's Saturday...

I've been puked on - all down the front of me, in her carrier and all over her

(and had to clean it with my sleeve) then got home and realized I have dried puke in my wedding ring, under my FitBit and down my arm... lovely.

I was kicked, growled at and was called a "mean mom" by a 3 year old,

I attempted Target with two kids (I will never do that again before coffee!),

I wrestled an angry toddler into her carseat with one hand while maintaining what little sanity I had left in the Target parking lot (hence kicking, screaming, growling).

I prayed on the way to Starbucks 

(for traffic to move faster and for the strength to not hit my child in the backseat!),

I cranked up the car radio to drown out screaming children 

(and it was totally inappropriate music!),

I got home and unloaded groceries while leaving said screaming children in the car for five more minutes,

Lennon had leftover cold pancakes for lunch,

London nursed until she spit up on my boob, then passed out... in the spit up,

I have two loads + diaper laundry to do and I'd rather sip my coffee and blog about it.

No one said being a mom is easy but,

no one said it was this f'ing hard either. 

I wake up in the morning and pray for a good day, I go to bed and pray for a good night.

I pray a lot, and I pray hard. God, are you listening? Because, I need a break. 

I am a very lucky woman, I will admit that. 

I have an amazing support team with my friends and family and most of all my husband but some days... like today... I want to quit. 

Why did I choose the only job you can't quit?

I cried on the way home while listening to my favorite songs wondering where I went wrong as a mother to have such a crabby, mouthy toddler who acts up in a store, screams like someone is kidnapping her and then doesn't stop the entire way out of the store... then I realized that she's JUST LIKE ME. Shit.

I drove to Starbucks with the music up, hoping to drown them out and when I get to the window the barista says "Oh someones not happy..." 

I just smirked and said, "Mom life... it's awesome!" 

(or as my friend would say... "little blessings!!")

Once we finally got settled in at home Lennon came up to me hugged me, kissed my arm and said "mom, I'm sorry I was so bad at Target I just really wanted to carry your keys."

First thought: You did all of that over some damn keys???

Second thought: You're sweet, adorable and I love you...

Third thought: I live in a crazy house!

After a few cartoons, snacks and cuddles she finally went to her room to relax and as I am typing this during a much needed break I hear her playing barbies and running around her room. I seriously cannot get a break. Let it go... deep breaths...

Being a mom is tough. 

Being a stay at home mom is tougher.

You constantly have to choose between peeing, eating or showering during the little nap times you get during the day. You're constantly battling loud noises during the babies nap time, a barking dog, throwing toys in the air, needing to wipe poopy butts or do laundry because of puked on clothes and you don't have any clean yoga pants... That's a serious problem, Nursing with one arm, wiping a butt with the other, trying to wash both hands, it's a task but only moms can do it.

All moms have days like this and if they say they don't they're lying to your face!

I wish there was a magic button to turn off their busy minds, go on silent mode and just fall asleep at nap time but there's not. There's only pots of coffee, snacks and chocolate to keep moms like me from losing it on a daily basis.

Thank you, Starbucks & gangsta rap for saving my sanity today, tomorrow and always.

XO.

London | 6 Weeks

It's been a whirlwind these past 6 weeks since London arrived into our world. We are finally adjusting to life with two, being a family of 4, morning and evening routines, and running errands - which is really hard with two. Hey, I am saving money by not running to Target every day :) I could NOT make it through my day without Dan helping out in the mornings. He feeds Luke, lets him out, feeds Lennon, gets some cartoons on TV and I am able to sleep for a little bit more while London sleeps in. Thank God! 

We made it to church last weekend and even better -London slept the entire night! This week I mastered my fear as a new parent and took the girls to open gym. I took my amazing Solly baby wrap to carry her in and of course she was hungry... so I also conquered my fear of nursing in public for the first time ever! I was so proud of myself. 

Lately London has been sleeping less and less, HELLO 6 week growth spurt! She cluster feeds at night still... that's a love/hate relationship, test of my patience and sometimes makes me feel like I am going crazy. Thankfully, I have an amazing support group that lets me cry, vent, scream, tell all my deepest feelings to and not feel alone. I love my Kindara friends, they truly are a blessing! Otherwise, London is generally a very happy girl. She smiles more now, loves when Luke licks her and plays by her, and when she's crying Lennon sings to her. Being a mom of two sure is beautiful! 

So... let me tell you about the not so fun part of motherhood - POOP! Yes, it's fun... when you're using cloth diapers! 

Since London was out of the meconium phase - yuck - we began using cloth diapers. We began with prefolds and newborn covers and let me tell ya, PREFOLDS SUCK. SUCK, SUCK, SUCK. Yes, they hold the pee and poo, and they work well, however I don't have patience for sitting there and folding, twisting, snapping, etc. before she pees again or wiggles her way out of it. So you better believe I was so happy when she gained some weight to allow me to use Best Bottoms covers and snap in inserts. My grandma says this cloth diapering is cheating compared to the way they did it in her day with pins and prefolds with rubber covers. haha! Let me tell ya, non-cloth mama's this is AMAZINGLY easy! After having a friend introduce me to the world of cloth, researching the 100's of different ways you can cloth diaper a baby, buying - returning - buying more, I finally found a fool proof cloth diaper system that works! The cute prints helped too! :) 

I owe it to Nicki's diapers online support group and website for helping me make my decision to go to Best Bottoms cloth diapers, and of course Amy for encouraging me into this by bragging about how easy it is! I am so happy that I did! I ended up buying a package of Best Bottoms which will fit birth through potty training! The covers and inserts snap in together, when it's dirty you unsnap, throw in the wash and voila! SO SO SO EASY, adorable and CHEAP! Have you seen the disposable vs. cloth comparison online? Cloth literally saves you over $1,000 if you do it birth - potty training! (even the off brand disposables are throwing money away!) Oh, and the laundry? Washing poop? You don't even see it or smell it or touch it if your baby is breastfed, if not you have to rinse it... haven't gotten to that point yet but don't worry, I will post about it when I get there. :) 

Get this... I bought my initial stash for about $200 (9 covers and 24 inserts) here - Nicki's Diapers and then of course I keep buying diapers because they're so cute. That package is serisouly all the diapers you NEED to get you through diapering your baby until potty training. However, if you're anything like me and my friends you'll keep buying all the diapers because they're ADORABLE. If you're having a baby I seriously encourage you to look into cloth and give it a shot. My friend and I both swore we would never do it and now we are wishing we did it earlier! Oh, the money we could have saved!!!

Here's my little fluff butt girl ....