Mommin' is Tough

It's Saturday...

I've been puked on - all down the front of me, in her carrier and all over her

(and had to clean it with my sleeve) then got home and realized I have dried puke in my wedding ring, under my FitBit and down my arm... lovely.

I was kicked, growled at and was called a "mean mom" by a 3 year old,

I attempted Target with two kids (I will never do that again before coffee!),

I wrestled an angry toddler into her carseat with one hand while maintaining what little sanity I had left in the Target parking lot (hence kicking, screaming, growling).

I prayed on the way to Starbucks 

(for traffic to move faster and for the strength to not hit my child in the backseat!),

I cranked up the car radio to drown out screaming children 

(and it was totally inappropriate music!),

I got home and unloaded groceries while leaving said screaming children in the car for five more minutes,

Lennon had leftover cold pancakes for lunch,

London nursed until she spit up on my boob, then passed out... in the spit up,

I have two loads + diaper laundry to do and I'd rather sip my coffee and blog about it.

No one said being a mom is easy but,

no one said it was this f'ing hard either. 

I wake up in the morning and pray for a good day, I go to bed and pray for a good night.

I pray a lot, and I pray hard. God, are you listening? Because, I need a break. 

I am a very lucky woman, I will admit that. 

I have an amazing support team with my friends and family and most of all my husband but some days... like today... I want to quit. 

Why did I choose the only job you can't quit?

I cried on the way home while listening to my favorite songs wondering where I went wrong as a mother to have such a crabby, mouthy toddler who acts up in a store, screams like someone is kidnapping her and then doesn't stop the entire way out of the store... then I realized that she's JUST LIKE ME. Shit.

I drove to Starbucks with the music up, hoping to drown them out and when I get to the window the barista says "Oh someones not happy..." 

I just smirked and said, "Mom life... it's awesome!" 

(or as my friend would say... "little blessings!!")

Once we finally got settled in at home Lennon came up to me hugged me, kissed my arm and said "mom, I'm sorry I was so bad at Target I just really wanted to carry your keys."

First thought: You did all of that over some damn keys???

Second thought: You're sweet, adorable and I love you...

Third thought: I live in a crazy house!

After a few cartoons, snacks and cuddles she finally went to her room to relax and as I am typing this during a much needed break I hear her playing barbies and running around her room. I seriously cannot get a break. Let it go... deep breaths...

Being a mom is tough. 

Being a stay at home mom is tougher.

You constantly have to choose between peeing, eating or showering during the little nap times you get during the day. You're constantly battling loud noises during the babies nap time, a barking dog, throwing toys in the air, needing to wipe poopy butts or do laundry because of puked on clothes and you don't have any clean yoga pants... That's a serious problem, Nursing with one arm, wiping a butt with the other, trying to wash both hands, it's a task but only moms can do it.

All moms have days like this and if they say they don't they're lying to your face!

I wish there was a magic button to turn off their busy minds, go on silent mode and just fall asleep at nap time but there's not. There's only pots of coffee, snacks and chocolate to keep moms like me from losing it on a daily basis.

Thank you, Starbucks & gangsta rap for saving my sanity today, tomorrow and always.

XO.