Feeling Fab

Today I am feeling FABULOUS!

fabulous[ fab-yuh-luh s ]adjective
1. almost impossible to believe; incredible.
2. exceptionally good or unusual; marvelous; superb: a fabulous bargain; a fabulous new house.

I woke up this morning, no coffee, no breakfast, phone is still broken, bills are still piling up... Yet I manage to feel like my day is the best day in the world. Why? How? Because I wake up to my amazing boyfriend giving me a warm hug and kiss good-bye before he leaves for work, and minutes later I wake up to my beautiful baby girl cooing and squirming around in her bassinet beside me. I look at her, she stares starry eyed back at me and in that moment inspite of the no coffee, no breakfast, bills piling up and broken phone I realize I am the happiest person alive! It's funny how one person can change your life...

Since I found out I was pregnant my life changed, and still continues to change every day. Before October 2011 I was living life the way I thought every 21 year old girl should... Party like there's no tomorrow, wake up with no regrets, drink until its gone, and don't go to sleep until the sun comes up. My life was perfect... or so I thought. I was wrong. My life may have seemed perfect for me, a 21 year old who didn't have to have a care in the world. Truth is, I was on a downward spiral. Hurting my closest friends, breaking hearts so close to mine, and never turning back to say sorry. It was rough, and I didn't see it through the drinking, partying and all-nighters! Come October I was faced with the reality that I was pregnant and I had to make a change quick! That night I had my last cigarette, and walked forth as a new woman.

As the year 2012 progressed I made a lot of changes. I got a great new job, big apartment, new car (or used piece of junk, whatever works)! I was eating healthy, working 40 hours a week, and keeping a positive attitude! My boyfriend moved back home, we started to work things out and all was wonderful.

Being pregnant changed my life, and not just for the obvious reasons. I grew up, a lot. I lost friends that couldn't handle sticking around through it all or just cared a little too much about the partying than helping a friend... I gained friends, the fellow mommies. And most I all I gained a new respect for myself and my life. I realized that it's not the little things that matter anymore. I realized that I don't need to sweat the small stuff and I don't need my past or anyone from it! I love my boyfriend more than anyone in the world, I am so in love with my baby girl and so in love with life!

I took a step back, looked at my past and asked myself WHY?? If I could go back and erase everything I would, but I can't. It is there for a reason, and that reason was to teach me a lesson. I am a better person than I ever was, and I thank God for all he has given me and my beautiful family.