Planning & Dreaming

I always pictured my life being simple, planned out and living the dream.

Fall in love,

Have a child with the man I love,

Buy a beautiful place to call home

Go to work, be the boss

 come home cook, clean, relax, drink wine, read a book, cuddle, bed.

Every woman's dream, right?

See, half of that list is already checked off. I fell in love, I have a beautiful daughter. I am renting a place to call home, for now... We are currently looking into buying a house, and I found one that I LOVE!!!

We both go to work, I am the" boss" (one of them), I come home

and clean, do the dishes, on rare occasion I will cook.

We put Lennon to bed, we relax, watch a movie, drink a beer, or wine.

Whatever.

Cuddle, if we aren't too tired

and usually pass out.

Every woman's dream?

Hardly.

I pictured this whole full-time, hard working, super-mom thing totally different.

Damn, movies.

I love my family, I love my apartment and I love where my life is right now. Sure, I would do some things different if I could. Like, go to school full time and work part time. Or find a stay at home mommy job that compares to the money I am making now. Yeah, right! Work in retail, or restaurant management not in an office with no windows, fresh air or even a hint of sunlight. Which, by the way if one more person comes back from their break and says, "Oh, my goodness it's so nice and warm outside! Can we leave early?" I will scream!

So, I have decided that I am going to do all that I can do right now.

Scream, pull my hair out, and suck it up like a big girl.

I have planned out my life the way I have always wanted it to be, and it didn't turn out that way.

So, back to the dreaming... Back to the planning.

Time to start over and live my new life as a mom, a full time working mom, a loving, caring, crying every time my baby leaves my sight mom.

It's time to focus, take a deep breath and say...

"You can do this, every mom has to at some point..."

I can do this, right?

Riiiiiight.

PS. Thanks to my wonderful boyfriend for listening to my horrible rants about work, and rubbing my back for me when I get home. I love you :)