Well my New Year has started off great even with the severe PMS that's lasted for a week, crappy, bitter cold weather & snow, the fact I have to clean and organize my house for parties this month and maintain sanity and patience while chasing a two year old and 4 month old puppy around the house. It's been a challenge, that's for sure but yesterday in Church I sat there enthralled with the Pastor as I listened to him discussing our New Years Resolutions and how many of us, if not all, won't complete the long list of learning a new skill, reading a new book, working out everyday, etc. and as much as we think it's important to complete our yearly bucket lists, it's not as important as we may think. As I listened, I learned and I realized that I need to just take a step back, take a deep breath and let God in more. This New Year I followed the trend of all other American people and made a New Years Resolution "bucket list" but now I am realizing that the only New Years Resolution that matters is giving more of myself to God, our marriage and our daughter!
Last night I was laying with L putting her to bed when she looked at me, grabbed my face and said, "Mama, hold me..." so I wrapped my arm around her, ran my fingers through her curly blonde hair and kissed her warm, soft cheeks and said "I love you, buggie". She looked at me and said, 'I lub you so beary much mama". In that moment, a tear ran down my cheek as I squeezed her harder and tighter to my body and kissed her cheeks so hard. This right here, I thought to myself, is all that matters. Instead of sitting on my Facebook reading about the stupid complaints about NFL refs, or watching the newest meaningless drama show on TV, in that moment I was doing the most important thing in the world. She teaches me to have more patience, more love and more laughter every single day.
Maybe losing my job was a blessing in disguise... In the two short months that I have been unemployed I have learned so much about my daughter that I never had the time to pay attention to before. When your child goes to daycare 7am-5pm, Monday - Friday it's hard to set aside making dinner, cleaning up from dinner, getting L bathed, her jam's on and ready for bedtime aside to play, learn and laugh like time doesn't exist. Now we have all morning to cuddle in our jam's, watch an episode or two of Daniel Tiger and learn about sharing and playing nicely, then play basketball in her playroom or make play-doh snowmen at the kitchen table, eat lunch together, cuddle again for nap time and then play all over again until daddy gets home from work. I couldn't imagine doing anything else!
I truly believe that going to church every weekend is helping me. It's helping me with my patience, my kindness, my love for my family and love for God. It's helped my marriage and helping me have more patience, especially since I am stuck at home 24/7. In church we are learning about letting God in, making Jesus more present in our lives and sharing Him in our marriage. We have been reading more of the Bible at home with our awesome new App of YouVersion and believing that IT is the ONLY word of God. My hubs and I sat in bed last night and talked about the different readings the App has about marriage and the journey of marriage. Letting Jesus be present in our marriage can only make it stronger because no one can come between the bond that He creates. It seems silly that we didn't realize this before... but I am so thankful that we are diving right into it now. We are so grateful for this church and the fact that they have a program for L to enjoy while we attend Mass.
This year seems to be very promising for us. Of course I still want to lose weight, eat healthier, use FaceBook, IG and Pinterest less throughout my days at home with L, and still get projects around my house done but, I am focused on giving 100% to my family, my marriage and our faith. This year it's my goal to read the Bible in its entirety with my husband (and understand it!) and help L understand the Bible more too. I am really excited to live my life through God and live it happier & healthier this year!
Happy 2015 - xo.
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