Funk-Ish

Days like today are tough to make it through. Battling with severe depression and anxiety for a few years have made it hard to cope with the days that I am feeling emotional. I feel overly exhausted today... mental exhaustion is way worse than just plain ol' being tired because let's face it, it really makes you tired too. Sometimes I just feel myself getting into a funk of sorts and once that funk hits it's rather hard to get out of it. 

Today I felt extra funk-ish. After having a crap day yesterday I slept like a baby but that didn't seem to help. I slept in with L until 8:30, which was amazing, but after I woke up I felt sluggish. I drank my normal two cups of coffee, no sugar, and relaxed until play time after breakfast. We played, cleaned, painted, had lunch, pretty much had the normal routine. I was waiting for the motivation to kick in but instead I put on my headphones and painted the walls in the house. Not quite the motivation I was searching for but it worked. L only took a one hour nap which was really upsetting because I was hoping to have more than one hour of me time, selfish I know. But, I really wanted to do some reading, resting or just be lazy and blog. I finished up my painting, cleaned the kitchen and then began to make dinner. Again, following the daily routine.

Maybe the routine is part of this funk. Maybe I need to get out of the house more, have some mommy play dates or something more exciting than Kelly & Michael in the mornings with coffee and cuddles. I try to make things interesting at home for L and I and most days we have fun with random crafts but man oh man, today was rough. I called my husband at work at 7PM and begged for him to come home. Almost crying on the phone I felt my insides wanting to scream out. I don't know what will make this funk better. Mexico has been on my mind lately, gosh I wish we could go back. 

Feeling like you're in a funk is always an unsettling feeling. I feel like going for a run, going to Ulta to buy new makeup or writing... I guess writing is the least expensive and laziest thing I can do. I'll stick to my pajama's, hot tea and blogging. I am just wondering when this will end.