As a mom, a stay at home mom, I feel obligated to do it all; the dishes, the laundry, the cleaning, the appointments, dogs, school, kids (you know, keeping them fed, bathed, alive and all). And, when I'm not doing it all I am thinking of all that needs to be done. It's non-stop. What happens when we try, try, try and don't succeed at the end of the day? We often feel smothered as mothers if we try to manage everything, but even worse failures if we don't complete all of our daily tasks. I know I struggle with that daily.
I have always been an OCD, Type A, list-maker, controlling about my own life, you name it, type of person. I became a mother and that didn't stop... it just made it 10x harder to deal with. I had to-do lists for myself, my child, my house, my work, etc. Then, I thought staying home raising my kids would be easier, more of a "break" mentally, not as exhausting as working at the office all day and still coming home to kids and a house to take care of. I had ALLLLLL DAYYYYY to complete my tasks, right? Bye-Bye long to-do lists, I thought. Wrong. Way wrong.
I realized through staying home that I try to complete more projects, more tasks, I am always cleaning something but never feel like it's all completed at the end of the day. One of the kids makes a mess, the other one needs lunch made for tomorrow, dinner needs to be cleaned up, it's bath time and then when is there time to sit down and relax? At the end of the day I have been so guilty of saying "I just need my space... give me 5 minutes" or "please, just go to bed" instead of soaking up one more minute of snuggles as a family, or reading one more book before bed.
I've been thinking lately that it can't be hard to let things go, even for a Type A, OCD, crazy person right? I mean, there are literally a million things on my to-do list right now... clean the bathtub, put the vacuum away, clean the playroom, vacuum my car, let the dogs in from outside, make lunch.
I've been praying for answers ever since our mom group this week discussed living my grace not perfection. I have been deleting those house to-do lists and focusing on right now, not later. I made a list (of course) of ways to simplify my life and if you know me, these things are going to be so hard, but in the end the impact that it will have on my family is going to be worth it, I just know it.
- Only make simple to-do lists that I can complete in a realistic time frame and make it easy; laundry today, bathrooms tomorrow instead of all of it in one day
- Make the to-do lists fun instead of a chore that has to be done
- Simplify my phone, no more social media during the day (while London is awake) or at night during hubby time
- ME time i.e; London's nap time. Read the Bible, a good book, blog, take a nap (what's that? I almost forgot!)
- Laugh more - at everything, even the messes
- Spend more time with friends who live by grace and who love God
- Rinse dishes and put them in the dishwasher right away instead of letting them sit in the sink
- Pick up toys at the end of the day, or week, or whenever I can... instead of worrying about them being picked up after every time we play
- Set days of the week for chores and stick to it
- Leave the TV off until after the kids go to bed
- Donate old clothes and shoes that I don't love, simplify my closet, wear what I love and not focus on new clothes, new trends and save money
- Embrace the messy, toy filled, crazy home we live in instead of worrying about the image of a Pottery Barn magazine one
- Stop pinterest-pinning the perfect home - it's already perfect because my family lives here! It's probably just a fad and will fade before my DIY look-alike project is complete anyway.
- Let them be little - I say this all the time but forget it sometimes when it's something that is reallllllly messy... like playdoh or watercolors (literally makes me cringe). Today, London was playing in the sink splashing in the running water. After telling her "no, no... you're making a mess..." and asking her to stop, she wouldn't of course. I literally walked away and said ya know what, it's fine... it's WATER and she's having fun. That was hard but, it was okay in the end and I wiped up the mess after she laid down for a nap. Happy toddler = happy mama.
- Spend more time doing what I love
- Let go of what I can't control and embrace the changes
