Monday, December 31, 2012

My Souvenirs of 2012

Here's to my souvenirs of 2012!
                                A thing that is kept as a reminder of a person, place, or event.
 
Listen, and love.
 
Here’s to the twilight
here’s to the memories
these are my souvenirs
my mental pictures of everything
Here’s to the late nights
here’s to the firelight
these are my souvenirs
my souvenirs

I close my eyes and go back in time
I can see you’re smiling, you’re so alive
we were so young, we had no fear
we were so young, we had no idea
that life was just happening
life was just happening

Here’s to your bright eyes
shining like fireflies
these are my souvenirs
the memory of a lifetime
we were wide-eyed with everything
everything around us
we were enlightened by everything
everything

So I close my eyes and go back in time
I can see you smiling, you’re so alive
I close my eyes and go back in time
you were just a child then, and so was I
we were so young, we had no fear
we were so young, we had no idea
that nothing lasts forever
nothing lasts forever
nothing lasts
nothing lasts
you and me together
were always now or never

Can you hear me?
can you hear me?
I close my eyes and go back in time
I can see you smiling, you’re so alive
I close my eyes and go back in time
you were wide-eyed, you were wide-eyed
we were so young, we had no fear
we were so young, we had just begun
a song we knew, but we never sang
it burned like fire inside our lungs
and life was just happening (and nothing lasts, nothing lasts forever)
and life was just happening (and nothing lasts, nothing lasts forever)
I wouldn’t trade it for anything
my souvenirs.
 

When I heard that song I felt as if it fit perfectly in my life this past year. I can say that as it comes to an end 2012 was an amazing year. Filled with a lot of laughter, love, surprises, angst, confusion, fulfillment of dreams, new beginnings of love, life and journeys together with friends, family and loved ones. Reunited friendships, realization of friendships lost and gone, and beginnings of many friendships to come. Here is my journey...

  • January - I was back living with my mom. I had moved back from Washington D.C and was on a long journey back to finding myself, my love for God and my heart. My mom helped me out so much, kept me sane, kept me warm, kept my heart happy and my spirits high. If it weren't for her I don't know what I would have done. Thanks, Mom!
  • February - I found out I was having a GIRL! My little sister Maci Ann was born. I started my (not so) wonderful job that I am (unfortunately) still working at! I moved out of my parents house and into my own apartment! (WOOHOO) Dan moved back from Washington D.C and we finally began our journey back to each other.
  • March - Finally we were both settled into the new apartment. Daniel moved in with me and we were working on making this relationship the best yet.
  • April - I had my maternity pictures taken, right around 26 weeks pregnant. Thank you, Katie for doing such an amazing job with these photographs!

  • May - My baby shower! It was a gorgeous gathering that my mom did and all of my friends and family were able to be together for!


 
  • June - My 22nd birthday. I was 8 months pregnant and waddling around like a penguin. It was one of my final ultra sound appointments and I got to hear my baby girls heartbeat. It was the best birthday gift ever!
  • Daddy holding Lennon for the first time!
  • July - My life changed forever! Lennon Danielle was born. 6lb. 12oz at 4:19 am on 7/11! The much anticipated arrival of my baby girl was better than I could have ever imagined.
Mommy holding Lennon for the first time
 

  • August - Daniel and I officially started dating again after a long road we were finally back right where we belonged; together! It was a long journey together, but we never gave up. We stuck together through it all.
  • September - Sept. 24, 2012 marked 3 years since my best friend Meghan passed away. We went to Southfield to visit her, took Lennon with us and spent the day shopping like usual, as Meghan would have loved to do. Since it is so close to her birthday we make it a point to go every year and have a glass of wine with her at the cemetery.
Meghan and I - 2009

  • October - Lennon enjoyed her first Halloween - as an elephant! Or Batman, because Dad thinks it's cooler than an elephant! :) I guess I agree!
Lennon - "Batman"
We enjoyed going to the pumpkin farms and getting cider, donuts and goodies! Of course,  Lennon slept the whole time but it was still fun!
Lennon enjoyed dressing up and passing out candy to everyone!

Bayne's - Fall 2012
























  • November - Daniel and I are ENGAGED! We went out on a romantic date together and he popped the question in front of the Court House and all of the Christmas lights! It was beautiful, and perfect! Read about it in my previous Blog -  It's a Love Story! November was also our first Thanksgiving as a family! We also moved out of my old apartment and got our first apartment together! We are now living in a safe place in Saginaw Township, a good neighborhood and finally - it's healthy for Lennon! No more black mold or dust to bother us! Thank the Lord, we are all healthy and in a good home.
Our FIRST ornament!

My GORGEOUS princess cut diamond! PERFECT.

  • December - First and foremost - We just bought a minivan. Not important, but it definitely tops the list of a milestone this year! Officially parents when you buy a minivan. But, we LOVE it!!! It's awesome. :) This month was our first Christmas together as a family. Lennon enjoyed opening all of her gifts, the wrapping paper was actually more exciting for her to play with, but whatever! :) We had a great time spending Christmas Eve with both of our families and Christmas morning together! Now that this year is coming to an end Dan and I are celebrating our 2 year anniversary tonight on NYE! 2 years ago we were at the bar with friends when he asked me to be his girlfriend - now here we are.
Daniel, Lennon and I - Christmas in Lake City



We made it through a lot of tears, and troubles to get where we are but we are now the happiest we've ever been - planning our wedding and celebrating the love and life of our new baby girl, Lennon Danielle. I cannot wait to see what 2013 brings - our daughters first birthday, our wedding, my best friends wedding(s) and SO SO SO much more!

Goodbye 2012 - Thanks for the souvenirs!


Saturday, December 29, 2012

Everything has a Meaning

and I am NOT talking about anything from T.Swift!
 
I am talking about songs.
Today I was in the car driving to a family Christmas party in Reese and it was the first time I really listened to the radio, and really comprehended what I was hearing. I was not only listening to the song but I was over analyzing how that song fit into my life and I found myself like every teenage girl saying, "Oh my gawd - How does Justin Bieber know that I love him so much?" Relax, I wasn't really listening to J.Bieb, but I was listening to Paul McCartney radio, and then 90's hits radio on Pandora - how I love thee.
 
Imagine by John Lennon
It never fails, I hear this song and I cry. I do it to myself, really. Only because it's probably the most listened to song on Pandora radio right now on my iPhone. Imagine all the people, sharing all the world. It really made me think about life, love and sharing... caring and sounds clichĂ© but, world peace. Loving everyone, saying hello to your neighbor, walking the old lady to her car at the grocery store, petting a strangers dog...
 
No Scrubs
Yeah - I listened to it. Rocked it in our mini van today as Lennon was laughing in the back seat. I can only imagine what she was thinking... "my mom is nuts and she is dancing like a fool in a mini van" Okay, well Lennon just be happy you're not old enough to be embarrassed by me yet! It WILL happen, I'm sure.
 
Sitting at dinner...
Tonight at our family Christmas party we talked about hidden meanings. Do you ever feel as if you see something EVERY.SINGLE.DAY, or hear a certain song ALL.THE.TIME? I do, and apparently people in my family do as well. For me, it's Beatles music. Most of the time it's old Beatles songs, which are pretty popular still but in the Mall, not so much. In Best Buy, nah. In Yankee Candle store, Really? Gas Stations, Walmart, etc. Who knew in 2012 The Beatles would STILL be playing everywhere you go? I notice it often and it's usually when I need it most. When I am having a bad day at work and I run to the mall on my lunch break, I hear it. When I am running to Walmart at 7:00 at night, I hear it. It's a constant reminder that Papa is watching over me and baby Lennon. Set aside from the joy and happiness I feel from a good ole Paul McCartney song it is truly a chilling, yet heartwarming feeling.
 
Songs can tell the story of your life no matter who you are. Whether you're a 13 year old girl following J.Bieb, or a 40 year old following Randy Travis love songs - a song has a meaning for you. A song can change your outlook on a bad situation, a song can warm your heart, send chills down your spine and even create those warm fuzzy feelings only your lover can share with you. Whatever it may be, turn on the radio and listen. It really does lift your spirits.




Lennon is 5 months

 
When I realized that it was December this year I was EXCITED!
I was so anxious to plan Christmas gifts, parties, you name it...
Then, it hit me.
 
My daughter turns 5 months old this month!
HOLY CRAP!
 
This little girl came into my life 5 months ago,
the moment she looked into my eyes I knew...
This little girl is my reason for living
 
She likes to play tummy time now, she grabs her foot like it's a banana and eats everything in sight! She is always laughing, giggling, drooling and farting.
You know, normal baby stuff. But it's cute,
only because it's my kid.
 
Lennon smiles the cutest smile!
She is always smiling when anyone looks at her, talks to her,
plays, tickles or giggles with her.
 
 
                                      
 
Lennon stares!
She stares at you when you try to take a picture of her!
She will stare at anything really if it's in front of her,
and when she can't grab it and eat it she cries, of course!

 
Lennon lays on her tummy!
Tummy time is always a joy!
Especially with a cute little butt like that!


 
Lennon laughs!
My daughter LOVES to laugh! She laughs at pretty much anything!

 
Lennon sits up!
With the support of my hand of course,
but it's cute nonetheless.
Especially with all those baby rolls,
and big chubby cheeks!

 

Monday, December 17, 2012

You May Say I'm a Dreamer

... But I'm not the only one.

I dreamt a beautiful life when I was a little girl. I dreamt of having a baby girl of my own, a big home, a loving husband and a happy family. I dreamt of things like fancy cars, lots of money, all the makeup I could imagine, clothes to fill a whole room, purses, puppies, vacations to islands and so much more! Materialistic things galore.

As I got older my dreams changed...
I dreamed of good health, a healthy and growing little baby on my ultra sound picture, and a loving man to come home to every day. July 11, 2012 I dreamt of holding my baby girl forever and never letting her go. I dreamt of that chubby little face growing older and wiser and even more beautiful than that morning when she first opened her eyes at me.

I woke up this past Friday morning still dreaming of the lavish extravagant things in life, my beautiful baby girl, my amazing fiancé, our family, and so much more. In the midst of my crazy morning at work I started day dreaming... All of a sudden I was making to-do lists, honey-do lists, grocery lists, Christmas gift lists, list of bills and so on. Until that moment... I opened up my email and I see the horrific news of the innocent lives taken by a monster of a human being.

In that moment I froze. I cried at the sight of the children running from the building, the look on the parents faces, as God only knows what was going through their mind, I could only imagine being in their shoes.

Too often we consume ourselves in our busy lives. We run out of the house in the morning only giving our loved ones a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. Rushing our children to put their coats on, tie their shoes and rush into school. Too often we forget the little things; the kisses, the notes in the lunch box, the hugs and the I love you's.

Slow down. Take your time. Help your child put their coat on, tie their shoes and squeeze them tight before they leave each morning. Tell them I love you, every single chance you get! Kiss them goodnight - even if they're already sleeping!

Take the time out of your every day life and dream. Dream of your children, your loved ones, and all that God has given us. Dream, and you will smile. Life is too short. Hug your loved ones, squeeze them tight and tell them you love them. You never know what tomorrow holds.

To the families and victims in Connecticut,
Rest in Heaven & God Bless





Saturday, December 8, 2012

I Rang the Bell!

It's an amazing feeling when you get engaged. The world stops, you instantly feel happy and a warm feeling comes through you that you've never felt before. It is so magical, dream-like and unforgettable.

Then comes the wedding planning...
Dresses, hairstyles, shoes, rings, colors, location, money... money... and more money.

I looked through tons of Bridal magazines, dresses on Pinterest and dreamed of Vera Wang's White Collection... All of it seems like a real fairy tale. Until reality hits... and makes you see the big picture of how much that Vera will cost, and how even though you want to, you can't even try it on or you'll be highly disappointed. And you get a feeling that you'll never find your dream dress on a budget. That is, until you meet an amazing sales consultant who will make your dreams come true!

Today I walked into Davids Bridal with high hopes and a low budget. My mother and I sat down with a sales consultant named Bianca. At that moment I had no idea this woman would change my life forever. I did the fitting, chatting, planning, color coordinating - the whole shebang. I put on my first dress and walked out of the dressing room. The expression on my moms face said it all... No way! Second dress was much better, ball gown, pure white with beading and a vintage look. I got a smile from my mom but nothing else.

(Third times a charm!)

I tried on the third dress, walked out and looked in the mirror. Instantly my mom started crying, I looked at myself and I started crying. Tears of joy, excitement, and happiness! I got that warm feeling that I got before. I had found THE DRESS. The dress of my dreams. A Cinderella ball gown & I looked like a princess!

The ladies at Davids Bridal surrounded me, dressing me in jewelry and veils. I was white from head to toe. It was perfect.

Then, a woman handed me a bell. She explained that I needed to close my eyes, make a wish for my upcoming marriage and then open my eyes and ring the bell as loud as I could! I held my breath, closed my eyes and wished... I opened my eyes, began to cry and rang the bell for the whole store to hear! Everyone clapped, smiled and cried with my mom and I as I walked in front of the mirrors in my dream wedding gown!

It was an amazing experience and I am so thankful for the amazing sales consultants at Davids Bridal who are the nicest women I've ever met and truly want to make your dreams come true.

I found my dream dress!
& I rang the bell! It was the happiest moment of my life!!

Lennon's first Santa visit

Today we took Lennon to the local VFW for their annual Christmas party. We joined my dad, girlfriend, her children, and my Grandma in a visit with Santa!

All of the kids get a gift from Santa and get to sit on his lap. It truly is a wonderful experience.

Much to my surprise Lennon didn't cry, scream, or bat an eyelash at Mr. Claus. She starred at her gift and laughed at his Ho Ho Ho's.

It was too cute! :)













Saturday, December 1, 2012

Friends, Fam & Moving Day

I love.love.love our new apartment! Finally, in a place that feels like home. It's big, clean - allergy and mold free - thank God! It has a feeling of home to it, and we both love it! Whew! All I can say is that moving with a baby is not recommended. A lot of work. But - We had a lot of help from family and friends! Thank goodness, I couldn't have done it without them.

My soon to be in-laws have been a tremendous help to us this week. From washing our laundry, watching Lennon, feeding us dinner, cleaning our house, helping us move - you name it. They are amazing! Thanks guys, couldn't have done it without you both! Also, thank you for the snowman rug and dancing snowman to make our home that much more home-feeling.

It's been a tradition in my family every year to get a Christmas tree from the tree farm. This year I am living in a town home and unfortunately cannot have a fresh real tree, so - fake it is. I was bummed. Overly BUMMED! So my dad came over tonight and surprised me with a wreath from the tree farm! It's beautiful! Blue Spruce, and has a ribbon and bow! I LOVE it. One more reason why I LOVE my new home - I can hang a Christmas wreath on my front door :) and it smells so good! Thanks Dad & Jen!

To top off a great day full of surprises - I invited our friends over for dinner and drinks. Much to my surprise we had more company - an old friend of mine came along and surprised me! We talked, ate lots of pizza, drank lots of beer and had a great night. Friends are what keep me going - so happy :)

On a sad note...
Lennon is in her OWN room tonight!
She is sound asleep and I find myself sticking my ear to the wall to make sure she's okay just in case the baby monitor is not hearing every.little.sound. I am trying really hard not to go peek at her. I am so sad that my little baby isn't in my room anymore! Good news - mommy and daddy can have mommy and daddy time. Bad news - I am getting less sleep than before. I am so worried... I want to be with my baby at all times. Although, this is the very first night of this so we will see how it goes and how mommy does. :)

Well, moving day done.
Time for bed, maybe I'll go check on Lennon and then sleep :)