Sweet Dreams

       

I'm wondering, where does it all really start anyway... Talent, I mean. When you're 5 and on your papa's lap listening to the Beatles... is your imagination working then? Or, when you're 18 and in love and you're biggest dream is to travel the world and explore museums and build a restaurant of your own. Where is talent created in the mind? When is it created? .... and where?

I went to NYC when I was 18 years old. Walked through SOHO and Ground Zero,  walked the spiral stairways in the Guggenheim and gazed over Andy Warhol, Picasso and Monet at the Met. My passion for creativity was not only discovered there, it was boiling under my skin, I was itching to get home and create a masterpiece of my own. A red canvas with an orange stripe won millions of art lovers over, why can't I do that? I replicate a Jackson Pollock painting at home and hang it on my wall and what do I get? Peice of mind that my wall is colorful, that's what. Now it collects dust and no one sees the true story behind a real painting. 

To think, that I am in my early 20's and have no real talent. I didn't go to college, I didn't create a masterpiece... I have created paintings and drawings and poems and short stories. Where are they? In a tote, in my closet collecting dust. 

I sit and I write... But what am I passionate about anymore? My love for my daughter, my passion is in her eyes. My passion is life and seeing her succeed  and knowing that its okay to put my dreams aside for her. Sure, I can sit and paint all day and create cute artsy-crafty things to have in my home but what good does that do? It doesn't. It takes time away from my one true love, my family. 

Putting my dreams on hold is okay. Because my one true and real talent is being a mother. I am a mom and I rock at it. I am passionate about everything being Lennons momma. Dreams will come true one day at a time for me, but for right now I am content not having a painting at the Guggenheim or a book on the shelf at Barnes & Noble. My time will come, and until then I will rock my sweet baby girl to sleep, whisper I love you in her ear and blog... 

Goodnight - and sweet, sweet dreams